DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS 3

GET THAT BIRD! page 3
ALIENS?!!!!>>> Seriously, what?!
PARROT writes squawk-all memoir
ON CBC12: Baking with GLaDOS
PROGRAMME CHANGES page 4
LARGE TYPE at Information
SUNDAY 12 APRIL 2009 today is the day that is the end of all these things are you sober?

NORWESCON 33 — ARE YOU READY?

We have guests and theme!

The theme for Norwescon 33 will be Future Plausible/Future Perfect. Our writer GoH will be Vernor Vinge, and our artist GoH will be John Jude Palencar. Watch the website for more!

AWARDARAMA

Glitter and Glamour Glisten

Masquerade Awards

Workmanship Awards

Best Novice: Zam Wessell, by Deunan Berkley
Best Journeyman: Recyclus Maximus, by Michael Duquette
Best Master: Shimabara Jinju Redux, by April Faires
Judge's Choice for Armour and Ghillie Coat: Kathy Kemp and Allan Kemp, Celtic Love Connection
Best in Show: Asterion, by Michael Sawyer

Presentation Awards

Best Novice: Zam Wessell, by Deunan Berkley
Best Journeyman: Recyclus Maximus, by Michael Duquette
Best Master: Asterion, by Michael Sawyer
Judge's Choice for Amazing Wings: Legend of the Gryphon, by Gary L. Bell
Judge's Choice for Best Use of Norwescon Theme: When Worlds Collide, by Richard Stephens, et al.
Best in Show: Recyclus Maximus, by Michael Duquette

Beyond Reality Costumer's Guild Trixie Award: Celtic Love Connection, Jonnalyhn Wolfcat Hall, Molly Boone, Erik Prill, Joe Kukowski, Allan Kemp, Kathy Kemp, Adam Armstrong

Single-Pattern Contest Awards

Fan Favourite: Ari Munsey, for "Stuck" in the Past
Outstanding Interior Finishing Technique: Miriam Kennedy, for Robe of Many Colors
Excellence for Creative Thinking Outside the Box: Lady Bane for Pre-Historic Kimono
Creative Use of Non-Frabic Material: Ari Munsey, for "Stuck" in the Past
Creative Concept and Character Expression: Debra Callaway, for Spirit of the Rainforest
Best Theme: Squirrel, for Heaven and Earth
Best Workmanship (in Progress): Lisa Satterland, for Work in Progress
Judge's Choice for Outstanding Achievement in a Variety of Techniques: Sunny Jim Morgan, for Fire and Water
Best in Show: April Faires, for Hinode (Dawn)

Art Show Awards

People's Choice:

Best Sci-Fi: "Porthole 17", Jeff Sturgeon
Best Horror: "Her Return", Rory Clark
Best Fantasy: "Witchburn", Rob Carlos
Best Humour: "I Has a Baff Toy!", Falstaff
Best Mixed Media/3D: "Inquisitive Island", Butch Honeck
Best in Show: "Stormcaller", Todd Lockwood

Judge's Awards:

Best Colour: "Finisterra", Cory and Catska Ench
Best B&W: "Raven Mask", by Saelle
Best Mixed Media: "Dryad", by Rebecca Schumacher-Cox
Best 3D: Self-Portrait, by Kathy Ross
Best Textile: "The Gown of Fea, the Soul Weaver", Meredith Cook
Best Jewelry: "Galex", Marjoie Stratton
3rd Place Overall: "Manus and Loki: Autum", Sarah Clemens
2nd Place Overall: Body of Work, Josh Foreman
1st Place Overall: "Fairy of the Green", Monika Livingston
GoH Selection: "Big Roar", Josh Foreman
Best in Show: Porthole 17, Jeff Sturgeon

WE RUN ONE FRONT-PAGE STORY AND YOU LOT GET ALL CRAZY WITH THE ROMANCE

We've heard of at least(!) three other engagements this weekend; the only one we have submitted is that of Laurie Reynolds (Rowan Silverwing) and Jacob Sullens (The Mad Potter), engaged on stage at the Fannish Fetish Fashion Show. The post-it with the names on says it's true, and that's good enough for us!

THINGS WE HEAR PEOPLE LIKE

moar pls

A Darth Vader who really knows how to work that suit, and a Padme who still scares him. Go, 501st Charity!

R. A. Salvatore going an hour over in autographs.

WOTAN THE COMEDIAN! RARRRRRRRRRRRR!

USS Aurora commissioned into Starfleet.

Queer Eye for the Broken Elevators. We're a real con again. Brings a tear to the eye, it does.

Canucks over the Avalanche!

THINGS WE HEAR PEOPLE DON'T LIKE

diaf

Canucks folding in the first round, like they always do.

OVERHEARD

"I'm a bad, bad buffalo."

"Why are you taking my horse?" "Jesus needs it."

"Love is in the air, water is on the floor..."

"Zombies make everything happy in a bad way."

"In high school, I was witness to an honorific teabagging." "English boarding school?" "English boarding school." "They don't talk about that part in Potter, do they?" "Nope."

"You get the extra gasoline for gaming."

"Dead is the new black."

"AGH what's that software?!" "It's called DING! And You Lose All Your Work."

"I've copyrighted Zombie Moses."

"They follow me around with tea — and fezzes!"

"Wondertwin powers activate — shape of, let's annoy the heck out of Mom and Dad!"

"I don't know what the heck it is, but it looked cool, so I stuck it on the tip."

"I think we need to coordinate our drinking."

GET THAT BIRD!

[Various captions that wouldn't make sense without the photos omitted here.]

PROGRAMME CHANGES

We have some!

ADDED:
SUNDAY 9am-11am, Cascade 3: 101 Body/Mind System with Steven Barnes. Author and Tai Chi master Steven Barnes shares his 101 Body/Mind System, the culmination of a lifetime of research and teaching. Want a healthy body, a healthy career, and a passionate, healthy relationship? The 101 system works towards all three at the same time.

MOVED:
Roberta Gregory Reading to Sunday, 1:30pm, Cascade 3 (was Saturday, 3pm, same room)

BTW, THAT RAYEK CAMPAIGN SIGN FROM THURSDAY?

Totally real.

Google it if you want. I dare you.

THANKS!

We have some!

Charity Events and Volunteers would like to thank the gracious vendors who donated items ot the charity auction and volunteer event.

Your editor would like to thank whoever stepped in and did an issue on Thursday (for Friday morning) when she was /d/r/u/n/k/ incapacitated. She'd thank you by name, but, um, doesn't know who you were. Thanks!

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS

...is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 32, and we're doing our best to invent new ways to be wrong about journalism. Your inadequately-supervised editor was R'ykandar (Dara) Korra'ti. Photographs by Mimi Noyes, Dara Korra'ti, and SECRET SOURCES. Cartoon by http://baconforbirds.com and Paul Johnson. I'd be cleverer but it's 3:45am and I haven't even started large type. G'night everybody!