Norwescon 28 Stardance Opening Number

Norwescon 28 Stardance Opening Number

Norwescon 28

The skit performed before the Friday night Stardance.

Alan Halfhill

Arf Barkus Aroo Productions

March 25, 2005

Alan Halfhill

Video © 2005 Arf Barkus Aroo Productions, used in these archives with permission

[The tail end of ♪ Matthew Broderick & Nathan Lane, "Keep It Gay" ♪]

…wasn't that an incredible opening number? Let's hear it for the Intergalactic Zen Druid Performance Company, Invisible Division!

[Applause]

Welcome to Norwescon 28, this is the Stardance!

Of course, we'll be dancing in just a few moments, but I know why you're all here.

You're not here to dance, I know why you're here. You're here to see the incredible, the stupendous, the magnificent opening number presented by the Intergalactic Zen Druid Performance Company. Are you not?

[Applause]

And what have they gone and done this year? Well, they've come up with a musical.

So let's see what they have in store.

[♪ Enya, "May it Be" ♪]

[Record scratch]

Look, the trilogy grossed a billion dollars. The movies are classy, so let's just celebrate the characters the way we really think of them.

Norwescon is pleased to bring you the exciting preview of Lord of the Rings, the musical.

[Applause]

The story begins on the hundred and eleventh birthday of Bilbo Baggins.

The party hosted by the wise wizard Gandalf the Grey.

[Applause]

[♪ The Ramones, "Happy Birthday Burnsie" ♪]

But when one of the servants of the Dark Lord showed up in the Shire,

Gandalf knew that the ring must be taken away for safekeeping.

Beware, beware the evil terror that is the Nazgul.

[♪ Blondie, "One Way or Another" ♪]

As the Council of Elrond in Rivendell, Gandalf the Grey explains the verse upon the one ring.

[♪ Queen, "A Kind of Magic" ♪]

The decision is made to create a Fellowship of the One Eing to escort Frodo Baggins on his perilous quest.

Besides Frodo's good friend and lifetime companion, Sam Gamgee, and their cousins, Merry and Pippin, the journey is aided by the strong, sure bow of the fleet-of-foot elf, Legolas.

[♪ Marni Nixon, "I Feel Pretty" ♪]

[Applause]

The fellowship is further supported by the Herald of the Horn of Gondor, Boromir, and the dwarf warrior Gimli.

Completing this fellowship is the mysterious ranger, Strider, also known as Aragorn,

the last of the mighty line of kings and the final heir to the kingdom.

[♪ Elton John, "I Just Can't Wait to be King" ♪]

[Applause]

The fellowship sets off on the perilous quest facing dangers unknown, and enemies too numerous to count.

[♪ The Proclaimers, "500 Miles" ♪]

The first major trial the fellowship must face is the terrifying fury of the fiery Balrog in the minds of Moria.

[♪ The Trammps, "Disco Inferno" ♪]

In the mountains of Rohan, the fellowship meets Eomir, the leader of the Rohirrim.

[♪ Boys Don't Cry, "I Wanna Be A Cowboy" ♪]

[Applause]

In the palace of King Theoden, the company is met by the scheming and treacherous advisor, Grima Wormtongue.

[♪ Queen, "Somebody to Love" ♪]

[Applause]

At the heart of every great musical, there is a love story — and it's not just the love between two long time companion hobbits.

Aragorn, the man who would be king, is pulled by the affection of the two strong women in this tale, Arwen of the elves and Eowyn of the Rohirrim.

[♪ Peggy March, "I Will Follow Him" ♪]

[Applause]

[Unintelligible] …the Pellinor fields, the fight turns in favor of the dark forces with the arrival of the Haradrim on their fierce oliphaunts.

[♪ Henry Mancini, "Baby Elephant March" ♪]

[Arrow *thunks*] That's 27, get me!

[Laughter]

The battle is almost lost with the forces of Sauron being marshaled by the chief of the Ringwraiths, the dreaded Witch King.

All is lost indeed until the surprise revealment of his fierce opponent, the fair lady Eowyn.

[♪ Howard Shore, "The Siege of Gondor" ♪]

[♪ Patsy Cline, "I Fall to Pieces" ♪]

[Applause]

The burden of the ring becomes ever greater the closer to Mordor that Frodo and Sam get.

For now, they both can feel the hot, blazing, always searching stare of the eye of Sauron, the Dark Lord.

[♪ Bette Midler, "I Put A Spell On You" ♪]

Yet, at the heart of this epic saga is the tender story of Frodo and Sam.

As they cross the poisonous fields and marshes of Mordor, they learn they have to rely on one another.

[♪ Elton John & Kiki Dee, "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" ♪]

[Record scratch]

Though small of stature, the fortitude and courage of a hobbit is a mighty thing indeed.

[♪ The Hollies, "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" ♪]

Finally, in the raging furnace of lava inside Mount Doom, Frodo is freed from the ring of power as the treacherous Gollum tumbles to his death.

[♪ Johnny Cash, "Ring of Fire" ♪]

[Applause]

With the ring finally destroyed, the elves gather to depart this world and sail off to the Grey Havens of the West.

[♪ Bobby Darin, "Beyond the Sea" ♪]

[Laughter]

[♪ Bobby Darin, "Beyond the Sea" ♪]

[Applause, laughter]

[♪ Bobby Darin, "Beyond the Sea" ♪]

[♪ Styx, "Come Sail Away" ♪]

[Applause]

[♪ Styx, "Come Sail Away" ♪]

We hope you've enjoyed this preview of The Lord of the Rings, The Musical!

Let's give a big hand to our talented cast who made this opening number so special!

[Applause]

[Unintelligible]

[Applause]

[Unintelligible]

We officially declare the Stardance open, and we invite you to join us out on the dance floor.

Thank you and have a great night.

[Applause]

Ladies and gentlemen, how about that Interglactic Zen Druid Performance Company?

[Applause]

The opening number was brought to you by [unintelligible] original Stephen, sound by Eric Pearl, lights by Matt Lawrence.

We have alcohol in the back.

We've got requests to your right.

We've got earplugs for free up at the DJ table.

And right, later on, we're going to have DJ Black Maru and DJ Black...

[Laughter] …I screwed up. DJ Bad Monkey.

But right now, at the lights, DJ Brightburn.

And behind the jamming tunes, DJ Jammin' Panda.

[♪ The Crystal Method, "Get Busy Child" ♪]

16m 02s

MPEG-4

Alan Halfhill

Alan Halfhill