KRYTEN'S CAMERA CORNER page 3!
TV SHOCK HORROR! what a host!
A TORY IN TROUBLE page 7
On CBC 8: Cooking with Shego
PROGRAMME CHANGES page 4
LARGE TYPE at Information
THURSDAY 9 APRIL 2009 the now is built on ruins of the past. today will make the future. are you ready?
by Becky Citrak, Chair
It's here! Tah-dah! I'm so excited to welcome you all to Norwescon 32.
Some things to put on your must-see list:
Guests of Honor! Check your pocket program for the time and place they will be making their appearances. Don't forget the autograph sessions!
Casino and dance: Thursday night! This was loads of fun last year and I think will be better this year.
P.K. Dick Awards: Join us Friday evening for delightful desserts and readings from this year's nominated books. The winner will be announced at the ceremony.
Masquerade: Beautiful costumes, fun skits, and movie previews at halftime.
Amtgard: the Sunday event in Grand Ballroom 3. Come watch people hit each other!
Programming: All weekend long, we will have fabulous programming by interesting people. Hands-on or discussion, we will learn what's going on in the worlds of fandom, science, art, and more.
This is going to be great!
Distractions Best Forgot
We want your lies.
We want your lies, your filth, your rumors, your innuendo and out your other, your trivialities, and your base distractions.
We want your shocking pictures, your vicious scandals, your unsourced spin and bullshit. We want your parties, we want your b00zahol (we really want your b00zahol), we want your severely paranoid ravings, your crazies, your barely-repressed insanity.
And most of all, we want your DIRTY. LITTLE. SECRETS.
Because that's what we are. We're all the things best left buried. We're all the things you'd rather forget. We're the official convention newsletter of Norwescon 32, the official press — what a joke! — and sure, we'll have the awards, the programme changes, and all that, and most of those will actually be real.
But we're proud — proud to be part of the problem, and we will play that role to the depths of our rotten little hearts.
Come help. Give us your slander, your overheards, your news, your embarrassing or awesome photographs — particularly your photographs we need to fill page 3 — and give them to us by 10pm each day. We have submissions boxes at information, registration, and hospitality. We'll be on the net by around 3am, and on paper in the mornings around 9. We'll have the large type edition at Information, and other copies pretty much anywhere you look.
So c'mon. Bring it, if you can. Give yourself something to regret later. Or don't you have the stomach for it?
by Hedda, the Cranky
Welcome to Norwescon 32! Let me explain — no, wait, there is too much. Let me sum up:
Don't bleed over the hotel unless you clean it up. That Luminal shit picks up everything.
Sleep five hours a day, eat two meals a day, and take a frikkin' shower every day or I WILL KILL YOU.
Don't touch unless you ask first. No means no!
If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too? Yes? Good, they've already jumped. They're waiting for you at the bottom. MOVE, SOLDIER!
Common sense is not common. If you question an activity, ask someone with a badge. They probably have the good sense to arrest you.
Treat others the way you wish to be treated — sanded to a fine sheen, stained, and coated in Varathane. But ask first if you think they might not like it.
While we see the hotel as a place to pay and to recreate, the mundanes see it as a place to sleep and recuperate. Share the space, not the therapy sessions.
If you are going on the hot tub or pool, get clean first. Seriously, please. The Saturday Soup Bubbles are not soap and nobody, and I mean nobody, needs your eu de fan skank — or anything else — on them.
Don't want strangers having sex in your room? We don't want you having sex in our hot tub. TUBBS IS CLOSED DUE TO OH JESUS NO.
"You got your convention security in our room party!" "Yeah, well, you got your stupid in our face."
Wear sunscreen. But not in the hot tub.
If you don't want people to mock your naked ass, don't expose it. Also, that sunscreen thing.
Once is funny, twice is annoying, three times is unforgivable. Four times starts to head back towards funny again. Five times? Eh, you tore it. Six? Pathos. Seven? SEVEN! C'MON, SEVEN! BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!
Looking forward to writing about people who piss me off with their natural 11s,
Hedda, the Cranky
Preferably with a real match
You could win a membership to next year's Norwescon, books worth more than $100, and other great prizes at Match Game SF, the SF&F-themed re-creation of the classic 70s game show on Friday night!
Unlike other contests where you need to know your trivia, Match Game is simple and easy to play. Contestants will be randomly selected from the audience to match wits against our panel, as they guess how the panelists completed simple fill-in-the-blank propositions such as, "Godzilla said, 'The reason I only attack Japanese cities is that Americans give me _____.'" All contestants drawn from the audience are guaranteed to win a prize, including the famous Lovely Parting Gift. The fun starts Friday at 9pm, in Evergreen 4.
"Gina wants a My Little Pony named Rainbow Death."
"I'm full of hate and death and codeine."
TEMPTING TIDBITS FOR THE DISCRIMINATING MECHANOID
OH HO HO, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
"Look at this beauty! A double-loader! Isn't she just a marvel?"
Vitals: 4.0ft, 14 cycle
Debut: Today!
Astrological sign: Pisces/Airies
Power requirements: 110v/60hz
"And check out those curves!"
"That, that, that's not mine! I don't know where that came from and I assure you I don't swing that way! I'll have to have a word with that editor!"
...once we have any.
Nothin' yet. At least, not that they're telling us. Watch this space! No, I mean this one: > < Page 4, every day!
...is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 32, and we're doing our best to invent new ways to be wrong about journalism. Your inadequately-supervised editor is R'ykandar (Dara) Korra'ti, Cynic-in-Chief. Submissions are due by 10pm for the next morning's print edition, or later if you find us in person inking up our keyboards for the night. And don't push us, man, we're not drunk enough for that shit. COPY!
MONSTER MATT MASON page 3!
FACE OF BOE PREGNANT Guess who's dad!
HUSKY HORROR page 9
EXCLUSIVE Aliens in Japan!
PROGRAMME CHANGES page 4
LARGE TYPE at Information
SATURERDAY 11 APRIL 2009 today is the day that all humans will be satured and made to serve TOBOR! are you ready?
Readers demand to know whose sister got kissed
Congratulations to two Philip K. Dick award winners: Adam Troy Castro, for Emissaries from the Dead (EOS, pub.) and David Walton, for Terminal Mind (Meadowhawk Books, pub.).
Dammit
Contrary to errant reports, drugs (over-the-counter or otherwise) ARE NOT available in the Norwescon Office. Please accept our apologies for that misinformation. However, the hotel gift shop does carry a selection of OTC medications in individual-dosages packages, should such be needed.
Back to business, by which we mean today's parties
Tai Pan Club Meeting: Tower 410, 4pm
San Jose in 2011: (Westercon 64 Bid) Room 5350, 9pm
Reno in 2011: Room 1352, 9pm
And remember, kids, don't bleed all over the hotel unless you clean it up.
Game Show Serves Up Matchromony — Live!
Match Game contestant Ron Dougherty astounded audience member and sweetheart Yvonne Reide with a surprise marriage proposal on the Match Game SF set Friday evening.
Ron, the first contestant, arranged with host Kevin Standlee and the Match Game crew to have a special first-round question allowing him to fill in the blank with his proposal to Ms. Reide.
We're pretty sure she said "yes."
At the Monster Mash: "If my Great Grandma could see me, she'd slap me!" "Why, is she a Mennonite?" "No, she just really liked elephants."
moar pls
Town meeting: excellent ideas. There's another one today; come brainstorm. Concom needs brains.
Single pattern contest entries this year are awesome.
S.J. Tucker / Kitten Sundae / Vixy and Tony and Betsy concerts. Too much awesome in too little space.
Fannish Fetish Fashion Show overflow. If you know what we mean. And I think you do.
Monster Mash.
Surprise editors who fill in when the regular editor has been abducted by UFO aliens again.
Zombie PK Dick award presenters.
Drunk-ass pod people. SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
diaf
Food poisoning.
The Hugo award competition. ART IS THEFT. Or COMPETING FOR ART IS THEFT. Or something. It was pretty stupid, so we aren't sure. http://thehugoawards.org
People who will try to click on that URL in the print edition.
Editors who make jokes about clicking on URLs in print editions.
"Does anyone have a monkey head?!"
"INCOMING! MOOSE!"
"The stuffed animals would be having sex, and then the children would cry."
or is it found?
MICHAEL, do you know where your ID is? Convention Lost and Found does. Come get it, it's lonely.
LOST: small (18cm / 7in) plush cat costumed as a Stargate SG-1 character in an olive drab coverall with belt and glasses. REWARD OFFERED! Please return to AmyCat at Book Universe in the Dealer's Room or Room 316 at the LaQuinta Hotel, or contact AmyCat at [omitted]. "Please help me find Danny Kitten!"
along with its platform of doom!
Confidential sources alert DIRTY. LITTLE. SECRETS. to a secret cabal of unimpeachable "lifetime" members of Norwescon!
[Photo] Cabal members in secret conference!
The secret platform reportedly consists of reduced hotel parking, mandatory shoe registration, all-meat hospitality, children in cages, service animals as volunteer snacks, all-talk-radio dances, and intentional cross-programming of all top-rated panels. DO YOU KNOW MORE? TELL US YOUR SECRETS!
DISTURBING DREGS FROM THE MONSTER MASTER
Donnie the Dalek wasn't like the other Daleks...
But he wasn't like these things, either!
OH GODS OH GODS WHAT ARE THEY?!
Mad Scientists Playing Gods with Monsters
m is for mouse, but m is also for MAD MONSTERS!
BRAAAAAAAINS
Sorry, mate — no help here!
We have some!
ADDED:
SUNDAY 9am-11am, Cascade 3: 101 Body/Mind System with Steven Barnes. Author and Tai Chi master Steven Barnes shares his 101 Body/Mind System, the culmination of a lifetime of research and teaching. Want a healthy body, a healthy career, and a passionate, healthy relationship? The 101 system works towards all three at the same time.
MOVED:
Roberta Gregory Reading to Sunday, 1:30pm, Cascade 3 (was Saturday, 3pm, same room)
DELETED:
A Little Knight Music In Concert (was 7pm Saturday Evergreen 3/4)
Co-creator of D&D dead at 61
RIP co-creator Dave Arneson died last Tuesday following a two-year battle with cancer, the Associated Press reported on Friday. We at DIRTY. LITTLE. SECRETS. offer our sincere condolences to his fans and family.
...is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 32, and we're doing our best to invent new ways to be wrong about journalism. Your inadequately-supervised editor is R'ykandar (Dara) Korra'ti. Dalek comic courtesy Paul Johnson, http://baconforbirds.com. Photographs by Mimi Noyes and SECRET SOURCES. Submissions are due by 10pm for the next morning's print edition, or later if you find us in Volunteer Lounge inking up our keyboards for the night. COPY!
BATTLE OF THE SMART PHONES page 3
SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS
EDITOR ABDUCTED BY ALIENS page 11
MONSTER MASH Today 4-6 p.m. Cascade 13 Now with no Fee!
PROGRAMME CHANGES page 4
LARGE TYPE later
FRIDAY 10 APRIL 2009 Don't drink the punch, it brings bad things to your tummy
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
VOLUNTEER
By Becky Citrak, Chair
What a great day this was!
Registration — both Convention and hotel — was busy all day. There were a couple of glitches her and there, but by and large it went well.
Programming was well-attended, as was the Small Press Party. Opening Ceremonies was wonderful! Who knew Dr. Seuss could be so much fun?
Friday will be interesting. Check out the Norwescon Town Meeting at 11:00 a.m. in Evergreen 2. This is your opportunity to make suggestions and throw out ideas for Norwescons to come. The masquerade (Saturday) is always a hit and programming has something for everyone.
Have a great day!
5—2—1
Are you wandering, lost without your meticulous multi-page book lists? Lady Jaynes books I n the dealers room is holding them for you.
On Saturday the midnight movie will be the site of much rejoicing as the Dead Gentlemen come back to life (a few of them anyway) and grace us with their presence in Evergreen 1 & 2.
Oh wait, isn't' that the Sunday Special Event in Grand Three. This bit is really only interesting to those of us who like the Vancouver Cannuks so keep reading if you care...
The Cannuks beat the LA Kings 1 to nothing at a packed GM Place last night. The only goal coming from Ryan Kasler, with the assists from Mat Sundin and Alex Edler at 5:49 in the second. Roberto Luongo stopped 20 LA shot son the Canucks' net. The team will next play the Avalanche in Denver on Sunday.
Remember even though it seems like we're the only guests at this hotel ther are others staying here who may well be dismayed by what they see or hear. Keep it legal people or keep it out of sight!
There's a good chance that this space would be better utilized by something that you pull out of your head instead of something that I pull out of my....ear. Find a nifty little box and give us all your dirty little secrets.
We accept party reports too!
Have you ever wanted your very own Owlbear? Come and be a mad scientist for the afternoon. Join in the ripping and stitching of plush toys. Now with no fee! This event is not suitable for children, especially mine as you'll be destroying a number of their toys.
"Let's kill him and take his toy."
"Do you need to get under the table?"
Geeks-R-Us is proud to present the ultimate battle of the smart phones.
[Blackberry photo] vs. [iPhone photo]
Battle to be held on Saturday, April 11th in Seaports Lounge at Norwescon 32. owners will showcase their new toys and compete to see who can take the most pictures of local color and post them to the Web in a 10 minute period. To compete humans must own an Internet connected telephone with a camera and data plan.
Geeks-R-Us CEO Graham Bell says, "Well it's not rocket science. but with the newest toys on the market it might well be the next best thing."
I'm smarter than you are!
...what we have of them.
Writing a song — deleted.
Friday Filk Concert at 8:00 p.m. is now Pondside Music
Daily 'zine editor temporarily replaced by a pod-person.
...is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 32, and we're doing our best to invent new ways to be wrong about journalism. Your temporarily indisposed editor is R'ykandar (Dara) Korra'ti, Cynic-in-Chief. Submission are due by 10pm for the next morning's print edition, or later if you find us in person inking up our keyboards for the night. And don't push us, man, we're not drunk enough (yet). COPY!
This edition published by a punch-drunk pod-person.
GET THAT BIRD! page 3
ALIENS?!!!!>>> Seriously, what?!
PARROT writes squawk-all memoir
ON CBC12: Baking with GLaDOS
PROGRAMME CHANGES page 4
LARGE TYPE at Information
SUNDAY 12 APRIL 2009 today is the day that is the end of all these things are you sober?
We have guests and theme!
The theme for Norwescon 33 will be Future Plausible/Future Perfect. Our writer GoH will be Vernor Vinge, and our artist GoH will be John Jude Palencar. Watch the website for more!
Glitter and Glamour Glisten
Best Novice: Zam Wessell, by Deunan Berkley
Best Journeyman: Recyclus Maximus, by Michael Duquette
Best Master: Shimabara Jinju Redux, by April Faires
Judge's Choice for Armour and Ghillie Coat: Kathy Kemp and Allan Kemp, Celtic Love Connection
Best in Show: Asterion, by Michael Sawyer
Best Novice: Zam Wessell, by Deunan Berkley
Best Journeyman: Recyclus Maximus, by Michael Duquette
Best Master: Asterion, by Michael Sawyer
Judge's Choice for Amazing Wings: Legend of the Gryphon, by Gary L. Bell
Judge's Choice for Best Use of Norwescon Theme: When Worlds Collide, by Richard Stephens, et al.
Best in Show: Recyclus Maximus, by Michael Duquette
Beyond Reality Costumer's Guild Trixie Award: Celtic Love Connection, Jonnalyhn Wolfcat Hall, Molly Boone, Erik Prill, Joe Kukowski, Allan Kemp, Kathy Kemp, Adam Armstrong
Fan Favourite: Ari Munsey, for "Stuck" in the Past
Outstanding Interior Finishing Technique: Miriam Kennedy, for Robe of Many Colors
Excellence for Creative Thinking Outside the Box: Lady Bane for Pre-Historic Kimono
Creative Use of Non-Frabic Material: Ari Munsey, for "Stuck" in the Past
Creative Concept and Character Expression: Debra Callaway, for Spirit of the Rainforest
Best Theme: Squirrel, for Heaven and Earth
Best Workmanship (in Progress): Lisa Satterland, for Work in Progress
Judge's Choice for Outstanding Achievement in a Variety of Techniques: Sunny Jim Morgan, for Fire and Water
Best in Show: April Faires, for Hinode (Dawn)
Best Sci-Fi: "Porthole 17", Jeff Sturgeon
Best Horror: "Her Return", Rory Clark
Best Fantasy: "Witchburn", Rob Carlos
Best Humour: "I Has a Baff Toy!", Falstaff
Best Mixed Media/3D: "Inquisitive Island", Butch Honeck
Best in Show: "Stormcaller", Todd Lockwood
Best Colour: "Finisterra", Cory and Catska Ench
Best B&W: "Raven Mask", by Saelle
Best Mixed Media: "Dryad", by Rebecca Schumacher-Cox
Best 3D: Self-Portrait, by Kathy Ross
Best Textile: "The Gown of Fea, the Soul Weaver", Meredith Cook
Best Jewelry: "Galex", Marjoie Stratton
3rd Place Overall: "Manus and Loki: Autum", Sarah Clemens
2nd Place Overall: Body of Work, Josh Foreman
1st Place Overall: "Fairy of the Green", Monika Livingston
GoH Selection: "Big Roar", Josh Foreman
Best in Show: Porthole 17, Jeff Sturgeon
We've heard of at least(!) three other engagements this weekend; the only one we have submitted is that of Laurie Reynolds (Rowan Silverwing) and Jacob Sullens (The Mad Potter), engaged on stage at the Fannish Fetish Fashion Show. The post-it with the names on says it's true, and that's good enough for us!
moar pls
A Darth Vader who really knows how to work that suit, and a Padme who still scares him. Go, 501st Charity!
R. A. Salvatore going an hour over in autographs.
WOTAN THE COMEDIAN! RARRRRRRRRRRRR!
USS Aurora commissioned into Starfleet.
Queer Eye for the Broken Elevators. We're a real con again. Brings a tear to the eye, it does.
Canucks over the Avalanche!
diaf
Canucks folding in the first round, like they always do.
"I'm a bad, bad buffalo."
"Why are you taking my horse?" "Jesus needs it."
"Love is in the air, water is on the floor..."
"Zombies make everything happy in a bad way."
"In high school, I was witness to an honorific teabagging." "English boarding school?" "English boarding school." "They don't talk about that part in Potter, do they?" "Nope."
"You get the extra gasoline for gaming."
"Dead is the new black."
"AGH what's that software?!" "It's called DING! And You Lose All Your Work."
"I've copyrighted Zombie Moses."
"They follow me around with tea — and fezzes!"
"Wondertwin powers activate — shape of, let's annoy the heck out of Mom and Dad!"
"I don't know what the heck it is, but it looked cool, so I stuck it on the tip."
"I think we need to coordinate our drinking."
[Various captions that wouldn't make sense without the photos omitted here.]
We have some!
ADDED:
SUNDAY 9am-11am, Cascade 3: 101 Body/Mind System with Steven Barnes. Author and Tai Chi master Steven Barnes shares his 101 Body/Mind System, the culmination of a lifetime of research and teaching. Want a healthy body, a healthy career, and a passionate, healthy relationship? The 101 system works towards all three at the same time.
MOVED:
Roberta Gregory Reading to Sunday, 1:30pm, Cascade 3 (was Saturday, 3pm, same room)
Totally real.
Google it if you want. I dare you.
We have some!
Charity Events and Volunteers would like to thank the gracious vendors who donated items ot the charity auction and volunteer event.
Your editor would like to thank whoever stepped in and did an issue on Thursday (for Friday morning) when she was /d/r/u/n/k/ incapacitated. She'd thank you by name, but, um, doesn't know who you were. Thanks!
...is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 32, and we're doing our best to invent new ways to be wrong about journalism. Your inadequately-supervised editor was R'ykandar (Dara) Korra'ti. Photographs by Mimi Noyes, Dara Korra'ti, and SECRET SOURCES. Cartoon by http://baconforbirds.com and Paul Johnson. I'd be cleverer but it's 3:45am and I haven't even started large type. G'night everybody!
issue 1 2010.4.2 Friday
tea is not recyclable not like beer
The Gothic Tea Party is shown on the grid for both Friday (today) and Saturday. Saturday is a VICIOUS LIE. It's Friday only.
Haters want to ruin some tea is what.
Make Room, Make Room
Movie previews are in a new, larger room this year — Grand Ballroom 3 — and will start immediately at 2pm thanks to technical improvements. Also, no one will be admitted during the thrilling rock climbing sequence.
Party Hardly More Like It Am I Rite
DETHCON Presents: The Pucker Up or Shut Up! Kissing Booth
2pm—3pm Room 5239
Weird Tales Party
10pm–2am Maxi's
ISS Party in the Box
9pm Room 5231
2pm, Cascade 6
Are you a musician? Sign up for today's Performance Evaluation panel and get constructive feedback from our attending professionals!
Opens 9pm Saturday night.
That's all I got.
Reading: Michael Ehart, Noon–12:30pm, Cascade 3
Gaming: Pandemic, host Austin Searles (10am, Cascade 11)
Gaming: Munchkin Fu, host Marcus Evenstar (10am, Cascade 11)
Gaming: Long Shot, host Austin Searles (Noon, Cascade 11)
Gaming: Ninjaburger, host Marcus Evenstar (Noon, Cascade 11)
Gaming: Ubongo, host Austin Searles (2pm, Cascade 11)
Gaming: Munchkin Cthulhu, host Marcus Evenstar (2pm, Cascade 11)
Gaming: AT-43 All-Day Demos, host W0LF (8am, Cascade 12)
Gaming: TBA, host Robert Moshell (10am, Cascade 12)
Gaming: TBA, host Mark Richardson (1pm, Cascade 12)
Gaming: Call of Cthulhu, host CthulhuBob (4pm, Cascade 12)
Gaming:Munchkin Bites, host Marcus Evenstar (4pm, Cascade 12)
Gaming: Traveller, host Craig McKinney (6pm, Cascade 12)
Gaming: The Stars Are Right, host Marcus Evenstar (6pm, Cascade 12)
Gaming: Frag Gold, host Marcus Evenstar (8pm, Cascade 12)
Concert: Creede Lambard, now 6:30pm–7:15pm, Evergreen 2 (was 6:30–7pm)
Concert: Tempered Glass, now 7:15–8:00pm, Evergreen 2 (was 7:30–8pm)
Concert: ASH Productions, now SATURDAY 9pm (was Friday 7pm)
Gaming: Call of Cthulhu host CthulhuBob is now 4pm (was 2pm)
Gaming: Shadowrun host Alan Bond is at 3pm (was 1pm)
Gaming: Tower of Mysteries is actually Tower of Mystery, and gaming apologies to the representative for the error.
If All the Computers Stopped Working: new panelists: Don Glover (M), Michael Ehart, Christopher Konker, Charles F Radley, Vernor Vinge
Independent and Small Press Publishing: new panelists: Caren Gussoff (M), Jim Frenkel, Rosemary Jones, Rose O'Keefe, Mary Robinette Kowal
SF Con or Pop Culture Event?: new panelists: Kevin Standlee (M), Chris Nilsson, Jesse Simpson
Are Vampires Just for Tweens?: new panelists: Julie McGalliard (M), Rosemary Jones, Adrian Phoenix, Jaye Wells
Future of Malware?: new panelists: Don Glover (M), Ted Butler, Michael Ehart, Greg Paddock
Devising Magical Systems: new panelists: A.M. Dellamonica, Jim Frenkel, Jeanne C. Stein, Saje Williams
And They Pay Me for This!: new panelists: L.J. Bothell, Janna Silverstein
Is Electronic Publishing the Future?: new panelists: L.J. Bothell, Ben Dobyns, Jim Frenkel, Rosemary Jones, Jak Koke
Autograph Session #1 new slate: Alma Alexander, Bethalynne Bajema, Richard Baker, Steven Barnes, Arthur Bozlee, Andy R. Bunch, Alan M. Clark, Greg Cox, Dr. John G. Cramer, Cory Doctorow, Elton Elliott, James C. Glass, Lisa Mantchev, John Jude Palencar, John A. Pitts, Mark Rahner, Leo Roberts, Merrilee Schedin, Jeanne C. Stein, Eric James Stone, Jeff Sturgeon, Vernor Vinge, Jaye Wells, Saje Williams
Alexander James Adams and Tricky Pixie are Alexander James Adams, S. J. Tucker, and Betsy Tinney
Geek Parents: new panelists: Michelle Lyons, Kris Millering, Dierdre Phoenix, Steve Savitzky
What is the Future Made Of?: new panelists: David Nasset, Sr., G. David Nordley
The Natural World: new panelists: A.M. Dellamonica, Jim Frenkel, Adrian Phoenix
PK Dick Awards: new panelists: William Sadorus (M), Carlos J. Cortes, Dr. John G. Cramer, Cory Doctorow, Jim Frenkel, Daryl Gregory, David Hartwell, Ian McDonald, John Jude Palencar, S. Andrew Swann, Vernor Vinge
Star Trek Fans and the Changing of the Guard: new panelists: Ben Andrews, Christopher Konker, Jesse Simpson
Hey, Check Out the Sex Scene in My Fantasy: new panelists: Greg Cox (M), Jim Frenkel, Mark Henry, Joshua Palmatier, Eden Robins
Thinking Small: new panelists: Raymond McCauley (M), Doug Odell
This Blood's for You: new panelists: Loree Parker (M), Phillip Brugalette, Mimi Noyes
Not a Personality Test.
Artists Alley today runs from 9am to 6pm with painting, maille knitting, loom, digital art, jewelry demos, face painting and a bunch of ways for you to participate.
Ask an artist for their opinion on your work. Ask how they do theirs! You can pick up tips, see works-in-progress, and even buy art directly from the people who do it. Preferably often. Very often! Artists Alley is where art is up close and personal!
Not a Personality Test. Win Prizes!
You heard right, folks, come to the Volunteers' Lounge and you can win one of several wonderful prizes!
Sign up and share in the fun from 9am to 11pm today. Don't miss out, you could be a lucky winner!
May involve a Personality Test. Hard to say. No prizes.
Greetings from the crew and Marine strike group of the USS Chinook. We will be receiving and commissioning our Nebula Class Variant II Starship on Saturday, April 3rd, at 4pm in the Maxi's Saloon at Norwescon! We would be delighted if you would beam aboard and join us for the ceremony and celebration!
Our crew, based in Renton, Washington, Region 5, seeks to boldly go and help prepare our world for a better future. We accept members from all areas of planet Earth and would love for you to join us! We are an all adult crew, but we do have a cadet program for younger recruits agents ten through seventeen. Our purpose is to have fun in a futuristic setting, enjoy the company of like-minded individuals, and give back to the community via our various charities and community service activities. We have monthly crew meetings on the 3rd Saturday of the month.
Learn more about the world of STARFLEET through Academy courses including Xenostudies on Klingons, Vulcans, etc., plus Aerospace, Infantry, other Military Studies, Strategy, and Leadership. If you are interested in joining us on the USS Chinook, please check out our table at Norwescon, go to http://www.usschinook.org, or email information@usschinook.org.
"It's in the file 'bite-me-starfleet.txt'"
"It will pucker sphincters you didn't know you had."
"We're Security, not Safety!"
"You are the only man I know who complains his thing is too big."
"Have you gotten laid since last year?"
"No grab-ass in the line!"
"Oh, you mean tomorrow! We are totally tl;dr-ing it tomorrow."
is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 33. The editors cannot be bribed as our needs and desires are beyond your imaginations, but news items, lulz, fish biscuits and other treats may be left in submissions boxes at Information, Registration, and Office. Deadline for each day's issue is 10pm the night before. Oh, and just FYI: don't sign the billion-year contract. Who knew that shit was enforceable? I mean really.
issue 2 2010.4.3 Saturerday
still less annoying than starfleet
This sunday, some rare Star Trek movie items will be auctioned off in the Norwescon Art and Charity Auction. This year the auction will benefit Clarion West, a writers' organization that teaches new and upcoming writers to hone their skills in the field of science fiction literature. Norwescon is proud to be a sponsor of this wonderful organization.
Renowned author Vonda McIntyre reached into her personal collection of Star Trek memorabilia to benefit this years' event. These one of a kind items can now be yours! The movie poster from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, framed and personally signed by Gene Roddenberry to Vonda! Also, a very rare Star Trek crew member's baseball jacket, with cool embroidered scenes from the movie!
There are many more interesting and really cool pieces that can be yours too. Signed books, art, handmade quilts and many other items donated from our dealers and fans, that will make you the envy of all your friends!!
The auction is Sunday at 11:30 am in Grand Ballroom 2.
The auction is an important event to benefit the next generation of science fiction writers and you can make their futures possible.
then watch it die
Cascade 12, Table gaming: Vegas Showdown! Build a famous casino, prevent others from buying what they need. Bidding, floor plans, poker chips, zoning variances, payoffs, destroying dreams. 'Nuff said.
Reading: Roberta Gregory/Broad Universe Rapid Fire Reading, (10pm-Midnight, Cascade 4)
Reading: Bruce Taylor, (11:30am, Cascade 3)
Reading: Cymbric Early-Smith, (7pm, Cascade 3)
Reading: Roberta Gregory, (7:30pm, Cascade 3)
Reading: Alan Clark, (8pm, Cascade 3)
Reading: Mark Henry, (8:30pm, Cascade 3)
Gaming: TBA, host Mark Richardson (10am, Cascade 12)
Gaming: Super Munchkin, host Marcus Evenstar (10am, Cascade 12)
Gaming: Chez Cthulhu, host Marcus Evenstar (Noon, Cascade 12)
Gaming: TBA, host Robert Moshell (1pm, Cascade 12)
Gaming: Circuit Racing Formula 1, host Austin Searles (2pm, Cascade 12)
Gaming: Lord of the Flies, host Marcus Evenstar (2pm, Cascade 12)
Gaming: Munchkin Booty, host Marcus Evenstar (4pm, Cascade 12)
Gaming: Revolution, host Marcus Evenstar (6pm, Cascade 12)
Concert: Leeni (was 10pm)
Reading: J. McKelvy (was 11:30am)
Concert: Ash Productions, now 9-10pm, Evergreen 1 (was Friday)
Concert: Death*Star, now 10-11pmpm, Evergreen 1 (was 10:30)
Building a Balance Mythos new panelists: Mary Robinette Kowal (M), Jim Frenkel, Jason Henninger, Joshua Palmatier, Mary Rodgers
The Editor and Writer Relationship new panelists Greg Cox (M), Jim Frenkel, Ian McDonald, Anthony Pryor, Ken Scholes, Janna Silverstein
Spotlight Publisher: TOR new panelists Jim Frenkel, David Hartwell
Autograph Session #2 lineup: John P. Alexander, Carol Berg, David Boop, SatyrPhil Brucato, Ted Butler, Bruce R. Cordell, Carlos Cortes, Dr. John G. Cramer, Jeff Davis, A.M. Dellamonica, Cory Doctorow, James Ernest, Yasmine Galenorn, Daryl Gregory, Jeff Grubb, Eileen Gunn, Brandon Jerwa, Jak Koke, Ian McDonald, John Jude Palencar, Kevin Radthorne, Ken Scholes, Lorelei Shannon, Jack Skillingstead, G. Robin Smith, S. Andrew Swann, S. J. Tucker, Vernor Vinge, Gareth Von Kallenbach
Women Characters in Comics: new panelists: Ashley Cook (M), andrew Dolbeck, Michael Ehart, Marcus Evenstar
The Genre Divide: new panelists: Cat Rambo (M), Greg Bear, Greg Cox, Jim Frenkel, David Hartwell, Janna Silverstein
Autograph Session #3 Lineup: Alexander James Adams, Myke Amend, Brenda Cooper, Dr. John G. Cramer, Cory Doctorow, S. Joe Downing, Michael Ehart, Roberta Gregory, Mark Henry, Jean Johnson, Rosemary Jones, Mary Robinette Kowal, G. David Nordley, John Jude Palencar, Joshua Palmatier, Adrian Phoenix, Irene Radford, Cat Rambo, Sean K Reynolds, Ben Thompson, Amy Thomson, Vernor Vinge, Rob Welch
It Ain't All Geetars and Mopy: new panelists: Dara Korra'ti (M), Jes Hart, Steven Perry
LGBT in Fandom: new panelists: Loree Parker (M), Dierdre Phoenix, Mickey Schultz
Figure Drawing Workshop — Models In Costume: new panelists: Anita Taylor (M), Victoria Shaffer
Surveillance in the 21st Century — is it Good or Bad?: new panelists: Cat Rambo (M), Cory Doctorow, Michael Ehart, Eileen Gunn, Ian McDonald
Kinderfilk: new panelists: Ash Productions, Callie Hills, Creede Lambard, David Nasset, Sr.
What Popped Your Fannish Cherry?: new panelists: Kevin Standlee, Amy Thompson
Harm Me with Harmony: new panelists: Alexander James Adams, Callie Hills, Angelica Sather Hodgetts, Athrylis Sather Hodgetts
The Business of Art: new panelists: John R. Gray III, John Jude Palencar, Tiffany Toland
Space — Humanity's Best Hope for Long-Term Survival?: New panelists: Brenda Cooper (M), Jim Frenkel, Guy Immega, G. David Nordley, Vernor Vinge
Exploring the Human Condition: new panelists: Nathan Crowder (M), Ben Andrews, Michael Ehart, Christian t. L. Mecham, Kevin Radthorne
Michael Vaillancourt is added to panels Spaceships, Armor, and Machines, Oh My, Figure Drawing Demo, The Business of Art, and Video Game Art
Sunday, 2pm, Cascade 10
The 2010 Hugo Award Nominations will be announced Sunday at 2pm at a live event being covered on ConReporter.com. You can come watch in Cascade 10, or anywhere you can get the internet. In case of last minute connectivity problems, the alternative location will be the foyer outside the Evergreen Rooms.
Tradition! Tradition!
Remember the Night Owl cleanup after the Saturday night dances of years past? Of course not.
Now we really need your help during daylight hours right after the Swap Meet on SUNDAY, starting at 2pm in Grand Ballroom 3. We need to pack up all the equipment and go home. Give us 10 minutes, 15 minutes, or more of your time; we'd love to have you.. The more volunteers we get the sooner we get done. Thank You!
Hear the Baying of the Hounds of Art!
If you haven't been by Artists Alley you really need to come by and see what is going on. Artists are in rotation and there are artists here today who weren't here yesterday. Digital, traditional, sculpture, jewelry, knots and loads more! We have face painting again today and some grat pros available to look at your work or do commission work. Check the schedule to see when things are happening. You will not be disappointed! We are here from 9am to 6pm.
Spelling is hard
The description for "The Dummy is You" panel says that you need to bring paper tape. This is another VICIOUS LIE. You need to bring DUCT tape. Also a bank statement, two picture IDs, and a note from yr mom. Saturday 1-3pm, Salon.
win prizes! first place: a convention! here! today!
Come to the Volunteers Lounge and show us what you're made of: test your strength, win the race, or show us your elite skills, and you could win one of many fabulous and fun prizes.
stupid computers
Saturday Evening, Cascade 3's 7-9pm schedule is completely wrong. It reprints Friday's schedule. I blame cosmic rays, n-r rays, manta rays, and Ray Harryhausen, who can't be thrilled with the remake.
It should be Cymbric Early-Smith (7pm), Roberta Gregory (7:30), Alan Clark (8pm), and Mark Henry (8:30pm).
The USS Chinook will be commissioning their Nebula Class (Variant II) Starship on Saturday, April 3rd, at 4pm in the Maxi's Saloon at Norwescon! they invite you to join them for the ceremony and celebration.
"Our purpose is to have fun in a futuristic setting, enjoy the company of like-minded individuals, and give back to the community via our various charities and community service activities. We have monthly crew meetings on the 3rd Saturday of the month.
If you are interested in joining us on the USS Chinook, please check out our table at Norwescon, go to http://www.usschinook.org, or email information@usschinook.org."
take that, sanity!
Okay! International Bank of Timbuktu fuckin' owns all of you. The fact you were not there makes you a very sad person indeed. Ummmm... Oh yeah! Ordering drinks by colour, which in retrospect was awesome, rock band, drunken rock band, annnnnnnnnnnd titty-ante poker! And they had no-fail mode on adn drunk nerds were like "I'M IN A BAANNNNNNNNNNNNND" and "YEAH LOVE THIS SONG" so the whole fuckin' party would flop back and forth from room to room, goin' AWESOME SONG / TITTIES! / AWESOME SONG / TITTIES! Everywhere else fuckin' sucked, y'all need to step it up. they're open again tomorrow. If you aren't there, this convention sucked for you.
Then we went to Biohazard, right, and we went to go up to the bar, and this guy was like, THERE'S A LINE. And I was there for 15 minutes and I don't think this line knows it's a line. "Do you know there's a line for alcohol?" And we were like "FUCK!" And so we get in line and finally one of my friends knows this line isn't like a line, so we ask people in front of us, and they're "There's a line?!" and we just want some fuckin' alcohol! and he's all like THERE'S A LINE!!! and you and your non-line line suck.
I felt really bad for Party in a Box, because I'm, like, they have candy, and dinner and shit, and they have their beds out. I'm pretty sure people are gonna find that and go HOLY CRAP FOOD AND BEDS and I'M HOME DUDES. We walked in there at like 9:30 and were like "oh this room's gonna be really popular around 12:45." Then there was rice crispie sushi and gummy bears and these gummy bears like work out, right? Because they're all muscle. It was like IT'S LIKE FUCKIN' CANDY SUSHI and OW IT HURT MY FACE!
Then we went up to the penthouse which is like nerd bar, and it's fuckin' boring, it was, it was literally a country bar, but instead of country hicks you had nerds, and it was just as boring. And none of them were talking about anything and drinks were like ten thousand dollars and you had to ride the elevator allllll the way up here and I had to ride it allllll the way down and all the people brought their spawn and I'm a guy and I'm gonna have my period by the time I get down there! This is bullshit! And this powerpuff girl got all mad at me and was like, "I'm old and you didn't compliment me!" and it ended with me getting punched and one shouldn't get punched by a powerpuff girl for insinuating they were old. That's just rude.
Anyway, and in closing, I can play rock band when I'm drunk. It's a skill.
"I've never been on a date with two people who were wasted." "You have not been to the right clubs."
"If there was ever a man who would choke to death on his own balls, it would be him."
"The weather is pretty good on the Genesis Planet, though — the Spock is in bloom, and really lovely this time of year."
"We ought to frame this. This is like nerdcore to the core."
"Didn't you bring any mundane clothes for Saturday night?"
"It seems like we just don't have good assassinations like we used to."
"I love Vernor Vinge. If I were still fertile, I'd have his babies."
"Who said this?! We could get Verner Vinge laid. C'mere, Vinge, we can get your ass laid. Seriously, we should call him."
is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 33. The editors cannot be bribed as our needs and desires are beyond your imaginations, but news items, lulz, fish biscuits, and other treats may be left in submissions boxes at Information, Registration, and Office. Deadline for each day's issue is 10pm the night before. Oh, and just FYI: don't send warnings to the past from the future. You end up deleting your
issue 3 2010.4.4 Sunday
Writer: Patricia McKillip
Artist: Kinuko Craft
Science: Marie D. Jones
Special: Jim and Shannon Butcher
Spotlight Publisher: Pyr
Norwescon 34's theme: Fantasy of the Mind
Bitter Angels won this year's Philip K. Dick award. Nisi Shawl accepted the award on behalf of C.L. Anderson.
Ian McDonald's Cyberabad Days received the runner up citation.
Norwescon 33 is officially SOLD OUT. Just over 3300 memberships were sold; the final number will be announced at closing ceremonies.
Thank you to all our members for making Norwescon 33 one of the largest Norwescons in history!
Gaming: The Stars Are Right, host CthulhuBob (Noon, Cascade 11)
Gaming: Munchkin: Player's Choice, host Marcus Evenstar (Noon, Cascade 11)
Space — Humanity's Best Hope for Long-Term Survival?: new panelists: Brenda Cooper (M), Jim Frenkel, Guy Immega, G. David Nordley, Vernor Vinge
Exploring the Human Condition: new panelists: Nathan Crowder (M), Ben Andrews, Michael Ehart, Christian t. L. Mecham, Kevin Radthorne
Home Recording II: new panelists: Alexander James Adams, Michelle Dockrey, Tony Fabris, Stephanie Weippert
Trouble Clef Jam (Songs in the Key of R): new panelists: Alexander James Adams, Ash Productions, Callie Hills, Creede Lambard, David Nasset, Sr., Death*Star, Mickey Phoenix, Naomi Rivks, Steve Savisky, S. J. Tucker, Vixy & Tony
V: The Visitors: new panelists: Leo Roberts, Jesse Simpson
Fandance Film Festival: new panelists: Edward Martin III, Ryan K. Johnson
Closing Ceremonies: new panelists: William Sadorus (M), Dr. John G. Cramer, Cory Doctorow, Jim Frenkel, David Hartwell, Tracy Knoedler, John Jude Palencar, Vernor Vinge
Honorable Mention for Attention to Detail: Heather Pringle of Eccentric Creations
Honorable Mention for Excellence in Embroidery: Bannerman
Best Novice: Jareth, the Goblin King
Best Journeyman for make-up: Dalmatina Lady
Best Master: Medieval Japanese Court Lady in Late Winter
Best in Show: News from Draconis
Trixie Award: Nairobi
From all judges, for excellence in wings and overall effect: Wings of Aion
Judge's Choice for most intriguing: Hyacinth Broadbent
Best Novice: News from Draconis
Best Journeyman: Good is Bad
Best Master: Capt. Dallas
Best in Show: Cthulhu's Jester
Most Promising New Costumer: More Plausible than Perfect, Philip Buff
Best Science Fiction Theme: EEAR KIT, Linda Halligan
Stem Stitch Workmanship: Salmon Le Sac, April Faires
Best Planned Functionality: Brown Art Bag, Tina Comroe
Outstanding Knitting Technique: Tauri Phone Home, Joy Lee Barnhart
Outstanding Quilt Techniques: Boilerplate Visits a Crazy Quilt, Deborah Paul Olsen
Outstanding Use of Felting Techniques: Dragon Bad, Claudette Wagner
Best Use of Recycled Materials: Black Silk, Melissa Cooper (Dellyn)
Honorable Mention: White Witch's Soul Bag, Lynne Magie (Squirrel)
Judge's Choice: Middle Eastern Fantasy, Lynn Kingsley
Outstanding Novice: buh-DOW!, Jean Jones
Achievement for Pattern Alteration to Achieve High Functionality: Hidden Treasure, Martha Eby
Most Creative Use of Materials: Combat Purse, Lady Bane
Best Recreation: K-9 in Disguise, Solaris (Michelle George)
Best Theme: Life, Frame by Frame, Ariana Munssey
Best Workmanship: Totoro Bag with Catbus, Janice Mears (Oopsigottarun)
Best of Show: Dragon Bag, Tammie Dupuis
The Norwescon Art Show is proud to announce this year's Judges' Choice and People's Choice Awards. We also wish to thank this years judges, Don Lackey, Jean Carlos, Shaughnessy, and John Jude Palencar for their time and good judgement. Doug and Pat Booze would also like to thank their team for its dedication and hard work. Without them, Norwescon wouldn't have had an art show!
Guest of Honor Choice: Kyle Abernethy, "Memento Mori"
Best in Show: Michael Duquette, "Ice Dragon"
First Place: Jeff Sturgeon, "Event Horizon"
Second Place: Cyndy Salisbury, "King of the Greenman"
Third Place: Theresa Mather, "The Challenge"
Best 3-D: Michael Duquette, "Ice Dragon"
Best Black & White: Josh Foreman, "Legalism"
Best Mix: Stephen Lestat, "The Deal"
Best Color: Sarah Clemens, "Aeronauts"
Best Textile: Teresa Miller, "Embroidery Quilted Sample"
Best Jewelry: Tammy Micleson, "Black & Gold Reversible Clockwork Necklace 20"
Best in Show: Butch G. Honeck, "Steam Powered Computer"
Best Sci-Fi: Jeff Sturgeon, "Event Horizon"
Best Horror: John Jude Palencar, "Tales of The Lovecraft"
Best Humor: Megan McBirney, "Splat"
Best Fantasy: Mark Roland, "To Rise Again in Spring"
Join us in the Volunteers Lounge from 9am to Noon for your last chance to win one of Many! Fabulous! Prizes! Now is your opportunity to test yourself in feats of skill and walk home with one of many wonderful awards.
does our artist goh have a sense of humor? let's find out, shall we?
<points at programme book centrefold> This is an anal-retentive dragon. THIS is an anal-retentive dragon! This dragon is fucking bored. See these things? This dragon stacked these things himself. This is wrong. Did he contract this shit out? No! He fucking did this all on his own on a Tuesday night when there was nothing on TV. This is bullshit! And what is this in this fucking mountainside? He carved that. This is some art hippie dragon. NO! HE'S GOT ARCHITECTURE SKILLS! STOP HIM!! God damn. Never fuck with an art hippie dragon! Especially when he has fuckin' laser beams coming out of his back.
That picture's been bothering me all weekend.
does our hotel have a sense of humor? let's find out, shall we?
ok ok ok ok ok next year if the cafe is not fuckin' open until one in the morning like it says it is on the goddamn wall we should fuckin' riot. We should bring that bitch down. Not the whole hotel, just that part. It says 1am on that fuckin' sign on the wall and they're all WE DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS ANYBODY IN THE HOTEL and there's like 2900 of us, bitches. And that's all I got to say. PS HOTEL I LOVE YOUUUUUU
you can find that shit out on the interweb, man. no, seriously.
I don't know what it is with Biohazard but these guys decided they're some trendy LA club in the middle of nerdville and they have a line that's like a mile long and the hotel's only one block so how does that even work? Guess where we didn't go! Fuck that.
Okay however. To start out with. 5452. If there was an alcoholic version of pleasantly getting the shit getting kicked out of you in a back alley, you would find it in 5452. we found this really awesome party that doesn't exist, it's like a seriously secret thing, we had to sit through a presentation thing, they even gave us a little chip, my as still hurts where they injected it, we had to sit through this fucking thing, it's call the Teodoro Family Party. If you find these guys, they know their shit, man. They got us well and truly lit, just out of the kindness of their hearts. We went from fucked up to WOAH OMG in like nothing flat. And we were pretty fucked up already.
The only note I have in my notepad is there's this secret party I'm not supposed to talk about.
"I ♥ Brains" button, in dealer's room. Ask AmyCat at Book Universe for it.
Did you dance the night away? Did you watch or participate in the Masq? You're invited Sunday afternoon after the Swap Meet (around 2pm), the lights are up and you get to see the magic. And we'd love for you to help us tear down the magic and pack it up. Wow, will it all fit in those boxes?
The more volunteers we get, the sooner we get done! Come help!
If you won a Tonopah in 2002 pre-support at Match Game SF and did not receive your prize, you may get it today at the Hugo Award Nomination Announcement panel in Cascade 10 at 2pm.
Last chance for Artists' Alley! I know you told yourself that you would get to it, but you haven't, have you? Well, why the hell not? We are only in operation from 10am to 2pm today, so stop procrastinating and come by!
Our final panel of Movie Previews will start right at Noon and run until 2pm in Evergreen 1-2. The list of "Why Why Why?" is longer than ever! If you haven't seen the latest from Hollywood, drop on by.
"I'm not saying you ARE a tool, I'm saying I HAVE your tool."
"I do have privilege. I'm white, I'm male, and appear mostly gender conforming, except when I open my mouth and eight yards of chiffon fall out."
Pat Booze to Doug Booze: "Officer Jim said there's no sex in marriage; sorry, honey."
"He's Sicilian. It took us four hours to shave him from head to toe."
"It's somewhere between 'yum' and 'my mouth is being violated.'"
"What was your grade?" "I dont know. My paper was returned to me in an urn."
Her: "Are you going to follow me all night?" Him: "Not if you go to your room."
Cory Doctorow: "[Science fiction] was the love that dared not speak its name."
"I'm really curious to see what comes out on paper. It's like the Nuremberg trials of drunk."
was the daily "news"letter of Norwescon 33. R'ykandar (Dara) Korra'ti is all done with this now. Kate Wolfe's just getting started! SunnyJim won't admit working on it 'cause we've all been TERMINATED. Bye!
issue 0 2010.4.1 Thursday
WELCOME WELCOME
Welcome Welcome Welcome!!
To Norwescon 33.
We have a fabulous line up of Guests of Honor this year. Please check the pocket program for their every move. Fill their panel rooms full. Make their autograph line as long as you can. Show them just how much you appreciate them attending this wonderful convention.
Enjoy the dealers room and art show. We have lots of new dealers and artists.
If you have any questions please come find me in the convention office in room 7106. Just ask for Tracy.
Have a fun and safe time!
Yeah, I Mean You
There have been a lot of programme changes in the last couple of weeks. Please be extra aware of them this year, and check each day's 'zine for updates. You've been warned.
No Relation to Kirstie
Norwescon's Artists' Alley is the place to visit all weekend long! We have traditional artists as well as digital, inkle looms, mailee knitting and jewelry. We encourage you to talk with the artists and get involved. Many artists are also open to looking at your art or portfolio to give you some feedback and help. Artists are inrotation so check out the schedule board and keep stopping by to see what is going on!
Gaming: Red Dwarf hosted by Alan Bond (Thursday, 1pm)
Gaming: Player's Choice: Traveller or Civilization hosted by Mark Richardson (Thursday, 1pm)
Gaming: Gloom hosted by Austin Searles (Thursday, 4pm)
Gaming: SPANC hosted by Marcus Evenstar (Thursday, 6pm)
Gaming: Seismic hosted by Austin Searles (Thursday, 8pm)
Gaming: Star Munchkin hosted by Marcus Evenstar (Thursday, 8pm)
Gaming: _Feng Shui hosted by Alan Bond (was Thursday, 1pm)
Gaming: Illuminati hosted by CthulhuBob is now at 8pm (was 4pm)
Gadgets: Back to the Future: New panelists: Bart Kemper (M), Keffy R. M. Kehrli, Greg Paddock
Get Your Diesel On!: New panelists: Neil (Lights) Duttkin, Katrina Marier
Fans and the Effects of New Technologies on Fandom: New panelists: Don Glover (M), Judith Herman, Donna "Danicia" Prior
The Living Dead: New panelists: Randy Henderson (M), Daryl Gregory, Jack Skillingstead, Anthony van Winkle
For Future History, meaning seven seconds from now
We're told that the recommended Twitter hashtags are #nwc33 and #norwescon, We're also told that properly tagged posts also should appear in ConReporter coverage of the convention.
Well, okay, just most things
The concert schedule printed in the pocket programme is largely out of date. The correct schedule is:
Alexander James Adams and Tricky Pixie, 4pm, Grand Ballroom 3
Creede Lambert: 6:30, Evergreen 2
Tempered Glass, 7:15, Evergreen 2.
Note the unusual start times!
S.J. Tucker with Special Guests Vixy and Tony, 4pm, Evergreen 3/4
A Little Knight Music, 8pm, Evergreen 1
ASH Productions, 9pm, Evergreen 1
Death*Star, 10pm, Evergreen 1
Norwescon 33 welcomes all its performing artists! We have several first-appearances this year, including gypsy Celtic folkrockers Tricky Pixie, nerdcore hiphop artists Death*Star, the new ASH, out of Oregon, and new local filk band Tempered Glass!
Hallow, can you hears me?
Do not be afraid, little primates! We are petting your fuzzy heads! With extra moisture! And calmings. We speak to you from THE FUTURE, across the far singularity, with many treats and
<Mittens> Simon! Bad dog! Bad, bad dog! You know you aren't supposed to play with the interocitor!
CONVENTION NEWS! And programme changes! And more programme changes. And treats! And things overheard and
<Simon> Shut up! Busy! This is hard enough without you distracting me, cat. I'm talking to the monkeys and it's like talking to the goddamn fish.
beyond your ken! And you can help! Yes, you can! Aren't you a good little monkey? You can help! There are
<Goldie> ...
submissions boxes all over the place! Information! Registration! Convention Office! Pandora Station, on the Yamanote Line! Deadline is 10pm
<Mittens> Oh now you've done it.
each evening, or later if you can find our avatars working in the Volunteer Suite on the next morning's edition. So send things in! Particularly salty treats. We like salty treats.
Particularly Goldie.
<Goldie> That's it. I'm not fixing your computer anymore. You're on your own.
is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 33. The editors cannot be bribed as our needs and desires are beyond your imaginations, but news items, lulz, fish biscuits, and other treats may be left in submissions boxes at Information, Registration, and Office. Deadline for each day's issue is 10pm the night before. Oh, and FYI: don't immanetize the echelon. That's wrong. You'll understand why eventually.
Norwescon 34
Friday, April 22
The cupcakes are also a lie.
Join nwcMUSIC for filk and folk. See two new bands: one straight up, the other with a rock finisher. Tonight's concerts are in Evergreen 1/2:
7 pm: Annie Henry - Irish trad with a twist
8 pm: Leannan Sidhe - Bittersweet faerie folksongs for ensnaring human hearts
9 pm: Aislinn the Bard - Pegasus nominee Anne Prather has a new CD!
10 pm: Starlight - Stephanie Wieppert and Rich Glover's new band, a heady mix of country, folk, filk, and rock with a skyward reach.
Music programming at NWC is vaguely nervous about Cascadia's Got Talent! This is a one-shot experimental talent show, at Norwescon 34. Bring your talents to our daytime audience and panel of celebrity drunks guests. Win possibly fabulous prizes! Or at least prizes, comma, alleged. So fabulous, in a Gong Show kind of way.
Sign up at Info until 2 pm today; after that, come upstairs and bribe the MC. Showtime is 3 pm today, in the Salon.
Check the program book for instructions on how to get the pocket program onto your Android or iPhone. This program updates frequently as our schedule changes. Make sure you have the latest version.
If you've ever thought it might be fun to make a movie, but never knew where to begin, TODAY is the day you'll learn! The "Let's Make a Movie!" workshop is the place. Come on down and be a part of the madness and fun!
The Art Show staff has been working closely with Kinuko and her husband Mahlon on prints the Crafts have specially prepared for Norwescon. A very limited number of these signed archival prints will be available for purchase. They include art that has appeared on the covers of many of Patricia A. Mckillip's books and some of Kinuko's personal favorites. This will be an amazing opportunity to collect Kinuko Y. Craft's work. Your Art Show team is excited to be able to present this stunning work for you.
Artists' Alley is going into high gear today from 9 am to 6 pm in Concourse 2. We have a large variety of artists to see and learn from. Learn from digital painters, fabric artists, sculptors, illustrators, comic artists, and much, much more. This is the place to see it being made! See you there.
Join Seattle Area Metro Collectors and Northwest Pinball and Gameroom in room 7110 for an old fashioned arcade. Enjoy classic favorites and some great newer games, all set to free play. No quarters required!
The Philip K. Dick Awards will be presented today at 7 pm in Grand 2. Join us for the unveiling of this award for the best original US published paperback science fiction book for 2010. There will be desserts, tea, coffee, and no-host bar.
"You can't fire me! Slaves have to be sold!"
"Get it on its back until its tail starts wagging."
"Oh yeah, I was going to find somewhere to shove that."
"You pull it slowly so it doesn't twist or kink."
"First she went up, then she went down."
CANCELLED:
Pondside in Concert Friday: 7 pm in Evergreen 1&2
Tai Chi: Saturday 9 am
Tai Chi: Sunday 9 am
ADDED:
Annie Henry in Concert: Friday, 7 pm in Evergreen 1 & 2
MOVED:
Hugo nominee announcement was Sunday, 12 pm.
Now it's Sunday, 2 pm, Maxi's Ballroom.
Autumn Bullman and Brad Ritter are getting married today at 4 pm in the courtyard (weather depending). To find out the location in case of rain contact Autumn at [omitted] or talk to her in person at the Con Office.
Our first panel of Movie Previews have moved one hour earlier to 1 pm. More previews for no more money! Grab your seat early for all the latest from Hollywood.
Do you like Scavenger Hunts? Do you like Stargate? Well how about we combine them? Come to the Salon at 1 pm Friday, where you will receive your orders. The more Stargate symbols you find, the better your chances of winning.
Last month a gang of vicious italics escaped form lock down in the programming grid. If you see any free floating italics, report to the Publications Department. Do not approach, as they are armed and dangerous.
Every day in the Gaming rooms enter to win 2 passes to the Pacific Science Center's Star Wars Exhibition. Drawing held at 7 pm. Check with Gaming for more details.
Join long-time Norwescon volunteers Captain RiChard and his crew as they launch an initiative to build a world of peace. Join us to finally SEE Peace or make it happen. Learn more at http://seepeace.net
Due to a hole in the space/time continuum, the schedule of planned games didn't make it into the programming book. To make it up to you, here is a list of some of the games that will be played this weekend. Please visit them in Cascade 11 & 12 for more details.
Beyond the Supernatural
Ninja Burger
Call of Cthulhu 6th Edition
Munchkin Cthulhu
Frag
Star Munchkin
Leviathan
Yu-Gi-Oh!
Revolution!
Munchkin Quest
Ironclaw
Munchkin Zombies
Cthulhutech
Traveller
Call of Cthulhu
Pathfinder
Pathfinder Neverwhen
Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition
Cyberpunk 2020
Risk or Age of Imperialism
Settlers of Catan
Star Wars d10
Super Munchkin
Shadowrun 4th Edition
Ninjaburger
Frag
Yu-Gi-Oh!
Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition
Circuit Racing - Formula One
Munchkin Fu
Illuminati
Spirit of the Century
Munchkin Booty
Beyond the Supernatural
Cyberpunk 2020
Pathfinder
Pathfinder - Neverwhen
Advanced D&D 2nd Edition
[illegible]
Leviathan
Settlers of Catan
There's room for only 30 participants, so if you want a wand, you must sign up in Olympic 1. The panel will be closed once we reach 30, so sign up early!
Please return extra or lost pocket programs to the Info Table for redistribution. Using the online version only? Share your dead tree with someone else.
Friday, 6 pm in Seaports Lounge. Cheer on our local boys as they take on the Colorado Rapids in the Mile High City. Go, Sounders, Go!
is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 34. Articles from the membership are highly desired. The deadline for each issue is 10 pm the night before. Submission boxes are located at Registration, Con Office, and Hosplitality, or you can submit to: dailyzine@norwescon.org
Your editors are Shannon Hillinger and Katrina Marier, with assistance from the drunk tank.
Norwescon 34
Saturday, April 23
If you see any free-floating italics, report them to the Publications Department.
The 29th P.K. Dick Memorial Award Ceremony was presented Friday, April 22nd to a packed room of over 200 people. In addition, for the first time ever, the ceremony was streamed to an online audience of 184.
Nominated authors Alden Bell (The Reapers are Angels) and James Knapp (State of Decay) read from their nominated books. Also, Nisi Shawl read from Elizabeth Bear's Chill, Kristin Nelson read from Sara Creasy's Song of Scarbaeus, Mary Robinette-Kowal read from Jon Armstrong's Yarn, Nick Mamatas read from Project Itoh's Harmony, and Lou Anders read from Mark Hodder's The Strange Affair of Spring Heeled Jack.
At the end of the reading, Administrator Gordon Van Gelder announced the Special Citation Award going to Harmony by Project Itoh, published by Haikasoru. The Strange Affair of Springheeled Jack by Mark Hooder, published by PYR won the 2010 Philip K. Dick Award.
The Award Ceremony would like to thank the following for their support: Del Rey, Spectra, Nightshade Books, Tachyon Publications, Voyage Books, Tor Books, and Haffner Press.
Join us in room 7110 for a blast from the past as members of Seattle Area Metro Collectors and Northwest Pinball and Gameroom present a full-fledged video game arcade here at Norwescon. Enjoy classic favorites and some great newer games, all set to free play so no quarters required! Sign up today for our Saturday afternoon tournament. Full details available at the arcade.
Join nwcMUSIC for tonight's concerts in Evergreen 1 & 2: nerdcore artistry, 8-bit electronica, and two folk-rock heavyweights ready to roxx0r j00r s0xx0rs!
7 pm: Fighter X. It's Game Boy dance music from an 8-bit electronic artist!
8 pm: Death*Star. From Magic to tabletop, etc, these nerds rap about geekiness in all its glory.
9 pm: Vixy & Tony. Come hear Vixy & Tony's intensely fun acoustic folk-rock!
10 pm: The Heather Dale Band. Canadian Celtic heavyweight Heather Dale brings her band out from Ontario!
Please note: the Monster Mash panel on Sunday from 10 am - 1 pm has a $5 materials fee. This panel is open to mature mad scientists only. You must be able to handle DNA cutters and splicers (scissors and thread) and work independently.
Did you watch or participate in the Masquerade? Then you're invited to the Swap Meet Sunday afternoon (shortly after 3 pm). The lights are up, you get to see the magic, and we'd love for you to help us tear down the magic and pack it up. Wow, will it fit in all the boxes? The more volunteers we get the sooner we get done.
Check the program book for instructions on how to get the pocket program on your Android or iPhone.
Set 200 years after the advent of a zombie plague, Unhallowed Metropolis is the gasmask-chic role-playing game of Neo-Victorian dystopia. GM Ashley "nerdtastic" Cook will be running a two-hour game with pre-generated characters at table 14 in Gaming from 3-5:30 pm. Sign up now, text [omitted] or email [omitted].
CANCELLED:
Tai Chi: Saturday 9 am
Tai Chi: Sunday 9 am
Robert Ferrigno will not be able to attend.
ADDED:
James Knapp will attend autograph session 2
Saturday 3 pm, Grand 2.
Alden Bell (Joshua Gaylord) will attend autograph session 2
Saturday 3pm, Grand 2.
Michael Swanwick will read An Empty House With Many Doors
Saturday 4 pm, Cascade 3.
Jean Johnson will read Theirs Not to Reason Why,
Saturday 5:30 pm, Cascade 3.
MOVED:
Hugo Nominee announcement was Sunday noon.
Now it's Sunday 2pm, Maxi's Ballroom.
Come to a very unofficial reading Saturday 7 - 8 pm in the Norwescon Salon, located on the top floor of the hotel tower. See Camille Alexa, Sue Bolich, Elizabeth Coleman, Erin Hoffman, Cat Rambo, Jay Ridler, Renee Stern, Erin Tidwell, Garth Upshaw, and Kate Marshall.
On Saturday, iTV and its popular show The Multiverse comes to Norwescon to see our reality. Their multiuniverse truck will be between Wings 6 & 7 today. Come visit their soldiers of the airwaves and let them see what real fandom is about.
One of the most exciting events of the convention, the Art and Charity Auction, is Sunday at 11:30 am. It benefits Northwest Harvest and the Clarion West Writers Workshop.
The Art Show staff is running out of room for all the donations coming in for this Sunday's Charity Auction. They even have a shawl and scarf handmade by Vonda McIntyre, with autographed cards of authenticity. Vonda also donated what she's calling "Curl up with a Book" a hand made afghan and signed copy of The Moon and the Sun.
There are too many other special items to list so please come by to check it all out. This is a one-time chance to acquire unique fan goodies and help our charities out in these still rough times.
If you like to be up close and kind of personal with costumes, we can use you. The Masquerade is a great way to get volunteer hours by having fun. Come to the Pre-Masquerade meetings in the Grand 3 Ballroom today at 9 am.
Due to a hole in the space/time continuum, the schedule of planned games didn't make it into the programming book. To make it up to you, here is a list of some of the games that will be played this weekend. Please visit them in Cascade 11 & 12 for more details.
Star Wars d10
Super Munchkin
Shadowrun 4th Edition
Ninjaburger
Frag
Yu-Gi-Oh!
Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition
Circuit Racing - Formula One
Munchkin Fu
Illuminati
Spirit of the Century
Cyberpunk 2020
Munchkin Booty
Beyond the Supernatural
Pathfinder
Pathfinder - Neverwhen
Advanced D&D 2nd Edition
Heroscape
Leviathan
Munchkin Request
Pathfinder
Pathfinder - Neverwhen
"What? You grope me, then you want to go brush your teeth?"
"Woof woof woof, woof woof woof, go sniff my butt!"
"They've chosen Norwescon to pop their convention cherry."
"My cleavage is a great place to be."
"Steampunk really took off after the goths discovered brown."
"Only at Norwescon can you see Darth Vader jump up and down like a giddy little school girl."
"What is this? This isn't Horse Brutality food, this tastes good!"
"It takes at least 15 to make it work and we had six...you had sex...no I said...six sex sounds like more fun."
"Thank you for your knowledgable wisdom."
"Give me a hand, we have to get the table off."
Our stalwart filmmaking workshop is in the morning. They're small, fast, and weird, but they mean well! Come watch the action, we only ask that you watch from behind the camera. Come 'round and check it out!
We really need your help during daylight hours right after the Paranormal Fair on Sunday, starting at 3 pm in Grand 3. We need to pack up all the equipment so we can load out and go home. Give us 10 to 15 minutes of your time, or even more. We'd love to have you. Please stop by Grand Ballroom 3 at 3 pm or later on Sunday afternoon. The more volunteers we get, the sooner we get done. Thank you!
is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 34. Articles from the membership are highly desired. The deadline for each issue is 10 pm the night before. Submission boxes are located at Registration, Con Office, and Hospitality, or you can submit to: dailyzine@norwescon.org
Your editors are Shannon Hillinger and Katrina Marier, with assistance from the drunk tank.
Norwescon 34
Sunday, April 24
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Unless you have a reservation.
This year's masquerade had more than twice as many participants than last year, and they were all amazing. Look for the video replay on the con channels in your room today to see these fabulous costumes:
Erica Marr
Fenris Lorelei
Diana Daniels
Anastasia Demers
Jodi Jamerson
April Faires
Richard Johnson
Kim Genly
Cary Condor
Chris Dimoff
Helga
[illegible]
Torrey Stenmark
[illegible]
Ambrose Stair
Alicia Faires
Tracey Plunkett, M. J. Parker, and Darrel Parker
Shannon Flint and Orchid Cavett
Vicki Glover
Jim Gibbons
Rising Star: Anastasia Demers - "Megamind's Daughter"
Journeyman: Melissa Nichols - "Bookwyrm"
Master: Torrey Stenmark - "Avatar Driver"
Best in Show: Alicia Faires - "Geisha Barbie"
Best Props: Chris Dimoff - "The Marquis"
Best Detail: Cary Candor - "Empress of the Elements"
Rising Star: Anastasia Demers - "Megamind's Daughter"
Novice: Melissa Nichols - "Bookwyrm"
Journeyman: Helga - "Pippi Longstocking"
Master: Alicia Faires - "Geisha Barbie"
Best in Show: Torrey Stenmark - "Avatar Driver"
Best Light Show: Jim Gibbons - "Tron's Shareware Program"
Best Reproduction: "It's a Kind of Magic"
The answers to Thursday's crossword are available on the Norwescon blog: http://www.norwescon.org
The Zine editor award for Strangest Submission goes to:
"When you go into the general public bathrooms and a bunch of toilets flush, it sounds like lots of cats shrieking as they are sucked down the pipes."
We don't know how you know what that sounds like, but we've told security to keep an eye out for any future cat flushing.
Norwescon 34 is officially the largest ever, with 200 more attendees than last year. Thanks to all our members, guests, panelists, and staff for making 2011 such a fantastic year!
Because we are sold out, the Art Show, Charity Auction, and Paranormal Fair are open to all today, no badge required!
We had a fabulous line up of DJs this weekend, starting with mc300baud's always-popular hoedown. DJ Request and DJ Rohkan brought us a late starting Carnivale de Stardance with excellent techno mixed with con favorites. Last night we rocked the old school tunes with DJ Dancin' Dan. We look forward to more dancing next year.
CANCELLED:
Tai Chi: Sunday 9am
Ross Allison is unable to attend the Paranormal Fair
CHANGED:
Hugo Nominee announcement was Sunday, 12 pm.
Now it's Sunday 2pm, Maxi's Ballroom.
Artist Guest of Honor Choice Award: Kyle Abernathy for "Red Raven"
Best of Show: Kinuko Craft for "Tom Thumb's Tiny Coach"
1st Place: Mark Roland & Alan Clark for "Tides of Intimacy"
2nd Place: Jeff Sturgeon for "On the Outer Rim"
3rd Place: Julie Baroh for "Study of Peri"
Best of Color: Kinuko Craft for "Luna"
Best Black and White: John Alexander for "Star Song"
Best Mixed Media: Stephen Lestat for "UFO 101"
Best 3D: John Alexander for "Santa's Giraffe"
Best Jewelry: TM Original for "Triple Watch"
The Norwescon Scholarship for the Northwest College of Arts Student: Ethan Claunch for "Student Work 2"
Best in Show and winner of the Science Olympics trophy for Entertainment, (stolen from Dean Venture's dresser): Master Payne!
Honorable Mention and winner of a free trip to beautiful downtown Kent's historic warehouse district, courtesy of Metro Bus Lines (Kent, your one-stop shop for commercial storage and dead-body-in-a-trunk needs. Kent! It's south of Renton): Mike the Unknown Comic!
Judge's Notice for Surprise Vocal Excellence and winner of a CD of The Golden Voice of Jim Nabors: Christine in Purple! Judge's Notice for Exactly What the Hell Was That and winner of the Imperial vinyl LP record Slim Whitman's Yodeling, [illegible] of Pandora!
All judges and the MC are now drinking the vodka of the righteous. Righteous!
Pattern manipulation: Michelle George for "Wilma Flintstone"
Repurposed Wedding Materials: Misty Gibson for "Wetworks"
Excessive Use of Pockets: Martha Eby for "Artisan's Apron"
People's Choice: Janice Mears for "Galaxy Quest"
Best in Show: Lori Hillard for "Robot Space Apron"
Can you unscramble these fan and Norwescon related words?
BIOZME
HOSKICOB
SOUTMERC
NOLINGK
SPEAKTUMN
TAILOSTIHYP
WONCRATOB
[illegible]
Answers to this puzzle will be published Monday on the Norwescon website: http://www.norwescon.org
We know that everybody is rushing to check out of the hotel (lest the bed-monsters attack). Instead, please try to take time for the Fandance Film Festival today. Some wacky, some fun, some in the dark, some in the sun!
Our final panel of Movie Previews is noon - 2pm in Evergreen 1 & 2. The list of incomprehensible movie ideas is longer and more unbelievable than ever1 If you haven't seen the latest from Hollywood, drop on by and say "Why? Why!? WHY!?"
It's your final chance to join the Seattle Metro Area Collectors and Northwest Pinball and Gameroom in room 7110 for an old fashioned arcade. Enjoy classic favorites and some great newer games, all set to free play so no quarters are required!
Artist's Alley will be open today from 10 - 2pm in Concourse 2. There are still cool things to see and another chance to experience something different this con. This is where the cool kids hang out!
"If you eat too much candy, someday you'll grow up to be a big piece of candy and someone will bite off your fingers."
"Please can I be a slave in the box?"
"Dude... How big is your mouth?"
"I'd eat off his chest."
"Oh my God... I almost sound smart and literate."
"I know you just died, but keep it quiet."
"He's groasting."
"My head is going numb. It's the best I've felt all day."
"Would he be offended if I call him fairy?"
"I forgot I had an exploding zombie." "And now we need Wonder Woman in the bath tub."
"He ate all my meat!"
"You can't rush a hand job."
"I don't want to be passed out all day."
"You can't please all of the people all the time." "Yes, but you can kick them in the teeth sequentially."
"The correct order of peeking was pecked right."
is the daily member of Norwescon 34. Articles from the membership are highly desired. The deadline for each issue is 10 pm the night before. Submission boxes are located at Registration, Con Office, and Hospitality, or you can submit to: dailyzine@norwescon.org
Your editors are Shannon Hillinger and Katrina Marier, with assistance from the drunk tank.
Norwescon 34
Thursday, April 21
We wrote something funny here.
I want to welcome you all to Norwescon. For those of you who don't know, Norwescon is a 100% volunteer-run event. We have spent the last year putting together this year's convention. Consequently, we have four exciting days of programming, paneling, and events planned for you! We are always looking for ways to improve Norwescon so feel free to find me or any of my fellow department heads to chat. But don't be surprised if we ask you for help as we bustle along to make certain you have a great time! Thanks for coming and see you around the con.
Shawn Marier
Norwescon 34 Chair
We regret to inform the membership of Norwescon 34 that due to family health issues our PSIence Guest of Honor, Marie D. Jones, cannot attend this year. Norwescon wishes the best for Marie and her family, and hopes that some day she will be able to attend Norwescon.
B.D. Gallagher
Mike Shepherd Moscoe
Mikki Kendal
Misty Marshall
Monte Cook
Stephen Barnes
Autumn Bullman and Brad Ritter are getting married this Friday evening at this here convention! For information about where and when, contact Autumn at [omitted] or talk to her in person at the con office.
Come look for the chevrons and win a great prize.
The Celestial Convention was created to honor Rick Stierl, a regular for hears at local cons. When Rick passed, RustyCon asked the Élan Empire to create an event to remember him, and by extension, all the local fen who have passed on.
The CC, with help from the International Star Registry, names stars in Ursa Major after fen who have passed. Contact RustyCon for more info.
This year programming staff and Art Show will be offering tours of the Art Show guided by three of our professional panelists: Todd Lockwood, Alan Clark, and Liv Rainey-Smith, all of whom are working artists. This is a very exciting opportunity to learn more about what goes into being a working artist and the art you've enjoyed over the years. Please sign up at the Art Show desk area for these limited tours, 10 people per tour!
"Some things I just can't lick it off of."
"I like the taste, it's the swallowing that's the problem."
"These are not the right pants for that."
Come join the nwcMUSIC track for a new, experimental concert of electronica, RAEG, and Pandora's boxes! Tonight's concerts in Evergreen 3 & 4:
8 pm - CRIME and the Forces of Evil, Rage-driven acoustic elfmetal!
9 pm - Electric Children, 8-Bit Electro house fro Seattle Chiptune veteran Jack Waterman
10 pm - Andrew Ross, A can of worms filled with Pandora's boxes!
Q: How many Borg does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but the whole Collective would be aware of it.
Music programming at NWC is vaguely nervous about Cascadia's Got Talent!. This is a one-shot experimental talent show, at Norwescon 34, Bring your talents to our daytime audience and panel of celebrity drunks guests. Win possibly fabulous prizes! Or at least prizes, comma, alleged. So fabulous, in a Gong Show kind of way.
Sign up at Info until 2:00 pm Friday; after that, come upstairs and bribe the MC. Showtime is 3:00 pm Friday, in the Salon.
CANCELLED:
Philip K. Dick and Hollywood: Thursday 11 pm
Pondside in Concert: Friday 7 pm
Tai Chi: Saturday 9 am
Tai Chi: Sunday 9 am
ADDED:
Space Dominators needs you!
Friday 4 pm - 8 pm, Rotunda 2
Annie Henry in Concert
Friday 7 pm in Evergreen 1 & 2
MOVED:
Scary Comics was Friday, 2 pm.
Now, it's Friday, 8 pm, Cascade 4.
Flirting 101 was Friday, 8 pm.
Now, it's Friday, 7pm, Cascade 4.
Finding a Beta was Friday, 7 pm.
Now, it's Friday, 2 pm, Cascade 4.
Join us in room 7110 for a blast from the past as members of Seattle Aera Metro Collectors and Northwest Pinball and Gameroom present a full-fledged video game arcade here at Norwescon. Enjoy classic favorites and some great newer games, all set to free play so no quarters required! Sign ups start today for our Saturday afternoon tournament. Full details available at the arcade.
Come to the "Let's Make a Movie!" workshop, where you can see some of the latest, greatest, and weirdest movies this workshop's produced (including several we're sure you HAVEN'T seen yet!)
If you're new to Norwescon, this is where we make a movie over the weekend. It's more fun than a thundering herd of Fundebeests!
The Thai restaurant and bar across the street is open. We stopped in Wednesday for dinner. The food was excellent and the staff eager to please. Their menu is reasonably priced and features all of the standard Thai items along with a few house specialties (pad thai & chicken rama were the dishes we tried). We were impressed with the openness of the restaurant and the willingness of the cooks to add spice to our dishes (1 - 5 spice levels, 5 is going to be fire, we tried 2 & 3). They also have brown rice on the menu, which is always a nice thing to see. Combine the atmosphere with the good food and ber on tap, how can you go wrong?
Q: How many Victorians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: [Ahem] We do not discuss this with ladies and children present.
is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 34. Articles from the membership are highly desired. The deadline for each issue is 10 pm the night before. Submission boxes are located at Registration, Con Office, and Hospitality, or you can submit to: dailyzine@norwescon.org
Your editors are Shannon Hillinger and Katrina Marier, with assistance from the drunk tank.
When in doubt...when in need... When the apocalypse hits...
Alexander James Adams
Grand 3, 4-6 p.m.
Creede Lambard
Evergreen 1&2, 7 p.m.
Kirby Krackle
Evergreen 1&2, 8 p.m.
A Little Knight Music
Evergreen 1&2 ,9 p.m. And follow them on Twitter:
Alexander James Adams - #folk #bardic #filk
Creede Lambard - #filk #banjo
Kirby Krackle - #geekrock #rock
A Little Knight Music - #filk
nwcMUSIC, the geekmusic festival of NWC, is holding its first open mic on FRI night at 10pm. Follow the final concert with YOU on the very same stage! ALL GENRES WELCOME; 1-2 songs or 8 minutes, whichever is shorter and how long the queue. No prizes here; just a chance in front of a audience to see what it's like on stage. Don’t forget: open lk at 11 pm!
VISIT OUR LOUNGE IN OLYMPIC 2! PRIZES! COMFY CHAIRS! FOOD!
Jason Bulmahn
Patricia MacEwen
Mary Rosenblum
Ken Scholes
Future Forensics - Friday, 10 am, Evergreen 1&2
Preserving our Geek Heritage, Friday, 1 pm, Evergreen 1&2
Ryan K. Johnson is now on the Adaptations for TV panel at 5 pm CAS 6
Irene Radford reads The Fall, a short story from the anthology “The River”, edited by Alma Alexander. 5:30 pm CAS 1
Evan Peterson reads The Cutting Room Floor Poems in the voice[s] of Frankenstein's monster. A live poetry performance. Rated PG 6pm, CAS 1
Changing Star Wars 7 pm in CAS 6 New moderator: Amber Clark
today at 3 PM in VOLUNTEERS, OLY 3! Strawberry shortcake and prizes! Need a reason to volunteer? The daily party is a good one!
For a $1 or more dona on to NWC charities, you get a sticker with the NWC QR code, and a ribbon that says “Show Me Your Stamp.” See Becky Citrak in the Volunteers Lounge, OLY 3!
The Venus Transit will be on June 5th from 3PM to Sunset!
“What happens at Norwescon comes back in 20 years and calls you Daddy.”
is open for Norwescon members age 21+ on Friday and Saturday night. Remember to bring your photo ID along with your membership badge. Please note that the 14th floor of the tower is closed to people under 21 as of 8 p.m. on Fri. and Sat. night.
Jeeves wishes to remind a endees that they should park only in undesignated spots. Violators may be towed and the tickets are expensive. Don’t be penny-wise and pound-foolish!
Today is FILKFEST. Filk was the first form of Geekmusic, and if you have no idea what that is, come learn at WHAT THE FRAK IS FILK? at Noon followed by a workshop at 2 pm in the Salon (bring instruments or voice!), with guests Alexander James Adams and Kidsfilk on the way down to evening concerts, an open mic for geekmusic, and overnight Open Filk. You've heard about it, you've been confused by it, find out what it's about all day today!
is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 35. Articles from the membership are greatly desired. The deadline for each issue is 10 pm the night before. Submission boxes are located at Registration, the Con Office, and Hospitality, or you may email Jeeves at zine@norwescon.org. Your editrix is Katrina Marier with ad hoc assistance from the Publications Team!
GoH Autograph Session, 10-11 am in Grand 2
Steven Baxter Q & A, 2–3 pm in Evergreen 3&4
GoH Autograph Session, 10-11 am in Grand 2
Cassini at Saturn, 11- Noon in Grand 3
The Importance of Abby, 4-5 pm, in Evergreen 3 & 4
GoH Autograph Session, 10-11 am in Grand 2
The Art of John Picacio, Noon – 1 pm in Grand 3
GoH Autograph Session, 10-11 am in Grand 2
What's New from DAW, 3-4 pm in Evergreen 1 & 2
“If you are going to have your brain sucked at con, wouldn’t you rather a friend did it?”
Norwescon has partnered with Guidebook, http://guidebook.com/g/nwc2012/ to provide our online con schedule. If you have a smartphone (iPhone, Android, Blackberry, or web-enabled devices), just visit the above URL to install the app and download guide! You can also go directly to http://m.guidebook.com/1128/ to browse through our entire schedule day-by-day!
Dirty Deeds Raido Room 5374 Open THURS, FRI, & SAT Wet
The Geek Out of Rassilon Room 5161 Open FRI Dry
The mysterious NWC veteran DJ TOX2MUCH returns, bringing the MasterMix Café back for one event, tonight from 9 pm -2 am at Maxi’s. 21+ with ID and badge. A retro swing through fannish faves all night long. The hits, the mixes, the surprises, the talking – it’s all there! Including “Experiment in Terror.” Featuring special grown-up Movie Preview swag t-shirts – only available tonight at Maxi’s! The more you drink, the better he sounds.
Have you heard about nwcMUSIC's SAT afternoon produc on of Cascadia's Got Talent!? Come bring your stupid human tricks, and perform them before our audience and team of celebrity drunks...err, judges! If you survive the Gong, you can win one of our allegedly fabulous, by which we mean terrible, prizes! Signup forms and rules are at Info, curtain goes up 3 pm SAT up in the Salon.
Who Cares About Titles...or Quality? Join us today at 1 pm in Grand 3. Biggest picture, sound, and egos galore! So much to talk about— movies, TV, theme parks, the works! Come early as the SWAG is fab!
Settlers of Catan added from open to close.
Earthdawn demos added: 9-1 PM on FRI, 1-3 PM on SAT, 4-7 PM SUN
Talisman added, 7 PM—Midnight on FRI
Distance Loons added 1-5 PM FRI, 1-5 PM on SAT
Earthdawn demos added 8:30-Noon on SUN, 1-4 PM on SUN
UNCONFIRMED RUMORS ABOUT THE APPEARANCE OF GAMES BASED ON AN ELDER GOD ARE STRICTLY UNFOUNDED.
“Do it to me, I want my head to.”
John gave me $5 for a ding dong!
Guy’s meat; be it subtle, be it strong, it’s something you can always rely on.
Well the play CLUE @ the con. Find out who got murdered, by which weapon, and in which
A Special Offer for Norwescon Members
Our Artist Guest of Honor John Picacio is making available to Norwescon members very limited edition prints of his artwork from the 2012 George R.R. Martin: A Song of Ice and Fire Calendar. These prints debuted just last weekend at World Horror and we are the next to take advantage of this amazing opportunity.
These five amazing prints are printed on archival paper from the renowned company of Hahnemuhle, who have been making paper since 1584. There will only be 100 of each print produced, each print is signed and numbered, and the most extraordinary thing about owning one of these prints is that John created each print myself, by hand.
Come by and check out Eddard Stark, Jon Snow and Ghost, Sansa Stark and the Hound, Bran Stark, and Melisandre -- any of which would make a wonderful addition to your collections.
Norwescon 35 Zine #1 4/6/12
When in doubt...when in need... When the apocalypse hits...
Rachel Kenoyer
Ras Rasmussen
Art Show Tour with Sienna Morris in GR 1
Ken Scholes reads Time Dancing in the Key of E Minor, 10:30 am, CAS 1
Pat MacEwen reads Taking the Low Road, 8 pm, CAS 1
SFWA Meeting at 9 AM in Pres. Suite
Bob Brown reads Tommy Tales at 2PM in CAS 1
Evolu on of a Writing Career, 5-7 PM in the Salon. With J.A. Pitts
Fandom in Daily Life at 10 AM in CAS 2
New moderator: Judith Herman
The 30th P.K. Dick Memorial Award Ceremony was presented Friday, April 6th, to a packed ballroom and streamed online to viewers around the world! The nominees were:
A Soldier’s Duty
by Jean Johnson
Ace Books
Deadline
by Mira Grant
Orbit
The Other
by Matthew Hughes
Underland Press
After The Apocalypse
by Maureen F. McHugh
Small Beer Press
The Company Man by Robert Jackson Bennett
Orbit
The Postmortal
by Drew Magary
Penguin Books
The Samuil Petrovitch Trilogy
by Simon Morden
Orbit
The 2011 Philip K. Dick Award was awarded to The Samuil Petrovitch Trilogy by Simon Morden
The Special Citation was awarded to The Company Man by Robert Jackson Bennett
Movie Previews will again take center stage at Haltime of the Masquerade. Halftime will not be shown on the hotel video channels this year, so if you want to hear the latest movie news you need to be at the Masquerade. Media junkies, you have been warned!
will be announced in Maxi’s Lounge at 1 pm today.
Electric Children
Evergreen 1&2, 7 p.m.
Ultraklystron
Evergreen 1&2, 8 p.m.
Vixy & Tony
Evergreen 1&2, 9 p.m.
The Doubleclicks
Evergreen 1&2, 10 p.m.
And then...Open Filk!
Love the Saturday concert bands? Follow them on Twitter!
Electric Children - #chiptunes
Ultraklystron - #chiptunes #nerdcore
Vixy & Tony - #filk
The Doubleclicks - #geekrock #filk
is open for Norwescon members age 21+ on Friday and Saturday night. Remember to bring your photo ID along with your membership badge. Please note that the 14th floor of the tower is closed to people under 21 as of 8 p.m. on Friday and Saturday night.
Reading, Noon – 1 pm in Evergreen 3&4
Autograph Session 1, 2-3 pm in Grand 2
Autograph Session 2, 3-4 pm in Grand 2
Autograph Session 1, 2-3 pm in Grand 2
Autograph Session 2, 3-4 pm in Grand 2
The Art of George R.R. Martin, 10-11 am in Grand 2
Autograph Session 1, 2-3 pm in Grand 2
Autograph Session 2, 3-4 pm in Grand 2
John Picacio Q & A, 5-6 pm in Evergreen 3&4
DAW Books Live, 1 -2 pm in Evergreen 3&4
Autograph Session 1, 2-3 pm in Grand 2
Autograph Session 2, 3-4 pm in Grand 2
“Your spankings await you upstairs.”
Jeeves wishes to remind attendees that they should park only in undesignated spots. Violators may be towed and the tickets are expensive. Don’t be penny-wise and pound-foolish!
is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 35. Articles from the membership are greatly desired. The deadline for each issue is 10 pm the night before. Submission boxes are located at Registration, the Con Office, and Hospitality, or you may email Jeeves at zine@norwescon.org. Your editrix is Katrina Marier with ad hoc assistance from the Publications Team!
Players should turn in their forms at the Info Desk by 10 AM Sunday! Winners will be announced at Noon! If there’s more than one correct contestant, names will be put in a jar!
For a $1 or more donation to NWC charities, you get a sticker with the NWC QR code, and a ribbon that says “Show Me Your Stamp.” See Becky Citrak in the Volunteers Lounge in Olympic 3!
Today you get to do EVERYTHING! At Noon, we have a mini Irish Session. This is the ancestor of so many geekmusic forms so come play along! No instrument? No problem! Several pros agreed to bring theirs to our Find Your Instrument panel at 2 pm in the Salon, and will demo then let you try! Then at 3 pm—Cascadia's Got Talent! Signup by 2 pm at Info to par cipate, or just come up to the Salon and see who survives the gong!
Don’t forget that this Sunday is our Charity Auction to benefit Clarion West & Northwest College of Art & Design. Some of the cool things up for bid are:
We Sure Hope So, Anyway
It's the show you've all been waiting for, Cascadia's Got A (Gong!) Talent! Come bring your stupid human tricks, and perform them before our audience and team of celebrity d/r/u/n/k/s/ judges! If you survive the Gong, you can win one of our allegedly fabulous prizes! Signup
SAT @ 3 PM in the Vol. Lounge. Root beer floats & prizes! Volunteers ARE Norwescon!
Punitive—Alien Doll
Bill Castle—Wings & Tutu
Susan Price– Bag’o’Swag
Todd Clayton, Jr.— Beaded Headdress
Michael Ormes—NWC 18 T-shirt
Robin Deleon—Smile face pot
Cora Booth—Wire earrings
Dave Dorais—STYX T-Shirt
Heather Dee—Bag’o’Swag
Linda Poplowski—Gaming paper adventure maps
Cosmic Ray—NWC 26 membership
Be sure to turn your volunteer hour sheets and drop off your raffle ticket in the jar for the Saturday drawing!
Mother to arguing child: “No you CAN’T, because black holes are two-dimensional.”
At the 501st Photo Shoot: “I want Master Chick, Vader, off the stage!”
“It looks like a Victoria’s Secret blew up in here.”
“I stream My Little Pony at work. It’s easier to explain to my boss than Swedish death metal.”
“Are you gonna speak or just play with it?”
“Now that you’ve gotten it to work, I can shut it down!”
The Doctor’s new Companion now has a name: JASMINE and she will be introduced in this year’s Xmas special. Jasmine will be played by Jenna Tovise
Prelims at 1 PM, 3 PM, & 5 PM in the Rotunda. Finals after Masquerade!
is open for Norwescon members age 21+ on Friday and Saturday night. Remember to bring your photo ID along with your membership badge. Please note that the 14th floor of the tower is closed to people under 21 as of 8 p.m. on Fri. and Sat. night.
Norwescon 35 Zine #2 4/7/12
When in doubt...when in need... When the apocalypse hits...
There are too many to list here, so Jeeves suggests you go here for more details: http://www.thehugoawards.org/hugo-history/2012-hugo-awards/
Norwescon 35’s Masquerade had many amazing entries. Kudos go out to everyone who par cipated—we look forward to seeing your work in the future. Many thanks also to the staff and volunteers behind the scenes who worked hard to put on a great show. Thanks!
Best Workmanship: Clash of the Titans by MJ Parker, Darrel Parker & Tracey Plunkett
Best Presentation: Anubis Guard by Walter Zimmerman
Best Workmanship: Will O’The Wisp by Melissa Nichols
Best Presentation: What The Lonely Goat Heard by Diana Daniels
Best Workmanship: Senator Padme Amidala by Torrey Stenmark
Best Presentation: Welcome To The Future by Julie Zetterberg & Lisa [name omitted]
Welcome To The Future
Amberre Cloverune by Anastasia Demiers
Clash of the Titans
Will O’The Wisp
Senator Padme Amidala
The Answer To The Age-Old Question by Alicia Faires
Under The Waves by Orchid Cavett and Zachary Brant
Josh Howard
Our final panel of Movie Previews will start right at High Noon and run until 2 pm in Evergreen 1-2. Tech has worked hard this year to make the screen bigger and the sound better. If you haven’t seen the latest from Hollywood, drop on by – for lots of SWAG and be ready for “why? Why? WHY?”
Closing Ceremonies, 4-5 pm in Evergreen 3&4
The Dawn Mission at Vesta, 11-Noon in Evergreen 1&2
Bridget Landry Q & A, 1-2 pm in Evergreen 3&4
Closing Ceremonies, 4-5 pm in Evergreen 3&4
Book Covers: The State of the Art, Noon-1 pm in Cascade 11
Closing Ceremonies, 4-5 pm in Evergreen 3&4
Closing Ceremonies, 4-5 pm in Evergreen 3&4
Norwescon’s Art Show was a hotbed of activity with a small bidding war happening right before close. The sold stamps almost dried out. Our Judges worked hard to decide who should be honored this year. The art quality was some of the best that we have had. But, after much hair pulling, wrestling in the aisles and clipboard swings the honorees are:
Guest of Honor Award: Julie Baroh, for Peri
Best in Show: Kyle Abermethy, for 1 Timothy 2:8-15
First Place: Julie Baroh, for Peri
Second Place: Michael Duquette, for Time Skipper
Third Place: Rob Carlos, for Armageddon Dragon
Best Color: Jeff Sturgeon, for Martian Archway
Best Black & White: Katherine Leeds, for Winters Gift
Best Mixed Media: Aimee Stewart, for Sister Moon
Best 3-D: MacLeod Dragons, for Fishing
Best Jewelry: Gempunk Jewelry, for Time Bandit
Best Textile’s: Elizabeth Fellows, for Emerald Dream
We are pleased to announce that Norwescon’s scholarship goes to the Northwest College of Art and Design student, Leanne Dunn for Vulture Girl. A big thanks to our judges Don Lackey, Caroline Westra, and Mac Oros for their hard work and interesting wrestling moves.
Many thanks to Norwescon’s Art Show members who voted for their favorite artists in many different categories. The judges were forced to make tie breaking decisions in two categories, Fantasy and Horror.
Best in Show: Michael Duquette, for Time Skipper
Best in Humor: Sarah Clemens, for Boneheads
Best Fantasy: Heather Hudson, for Remembering Spring (2nd Aimee Stewart, for Gypsy Firefly)
Best Horror: Amber Clark, for A Moment of Hope (2nd Matthew Hinshaw, for ‘Traction’ and ‘Base of Change”)
Best of Sci-Fi: Michael Duquette, for Time Skipper
Best Mixed Media or 3-D: Michael Duquette, for Time Skipper
Best Jewelry: Tiger Waddell, for Captured Time Necklace (2nd Gempunk Jewelry, for Aves)
@3pm: pizza, swag & a NWC 36 membership! And the ‘Norwescon Top Volunteer Award!’
“I’m giving you to my stepmom because she knows more about me than I do.”
He: “You were practicing drunkenness and debauchery with Lebanese—”
She: “Not Lebanese—lesbians!”
“I can wear my breasts, so I can have boobs!”
From one person to another: “I forgot what it was for—” “There’s that lubricant at work again!”
Norwescon 35 Zine #3 4/8/12
When in doubt...when in need... When the apocalypse hits...
Welcome to Norwescon, I hope that you all are as excited as I am. A great way to start your convention and to meet all our GoH's is to a end the Banquet tonight; tickets will be on sale today in the lobby.
I am looking forward to seeing all of you at the convention. I love meeting and talking to our members, so feel free to stop me in the halls and tell me about what you like (or don’t like) about our convention, as we are always looking for ways to make Norwescon better.
Shawn Marier
Norwescon 35 Chairman
Too many nonperishables in your emergency kits for the zombie apocalypse? Jeeves suggests bringing them to Norwescon! Look for the white Northwest Harvest bins close to Registration for donations. If you don’t have any nonperishables, you may always donate cash at registration.
Darryl Aoki
JC Gordon Granger
Sienna Morris
Greg Paddock
Wendy Prather
C.A. Scott
Pierce Watters
Wizard’s Hats—Witch’s Veils 5:30 pm OLY 1
Arcade? Room 7110
Art Show? Grand Ballroom 1
Artists’ Alley? Concourse 2
Cloak Room? Room 7101
Con Office? Room 7106
Con Security/Lost & Found? Room 7108
Dealers’ Room? NW Ballrooms
Gaming, Scheduled? Cascade 9/10
Gaming, Open? Rotunda 1 & 2
Hospitality? Olympic 3
Maxi’s Lounge? Top of the Tower (R on the Tower elevators)
Volunteers? Olympic 2
Get ready for a partial solar eclipse on May 20th. Venus transits on June 3rd with a total eclipse on August 20th in Portland, OR.
Jeeves respectfully requests all parties to please register with the Con Office, located in 7106.
Norwescon has partnered with Guidebook, http://guidebook.com/g/nwc2012/ to provide our online convention schedule. If you have a smartphone (iPhone, Android, Blackberry, or web-enabled devices), just visit the above web address to install the Guidebook app and download the Norwescon 35 (2012) guide!
You can also go directly to http://m.guidebook.com/1128/ to browse through our entire schedule day-by-day!
WHO IS DJ TOX2MUCH? WHAT IS THE MASTERMIX CAFÉ? Find out tomorrow at Maxi’s.
MC Firedrill
Evergreen 3&4, 8 p.m.
Rai Kamishiro
Evergreen 3&4, 9 p.m.
Kräken-Röhl
Evergreen 3&4, 10 p.m.
Want to follow these bands on Twitter?
MC Firedrill - #chiptunes
Rai Kamishiro - #nerdcore #jpop
Kraken-Rohl - #seapunk #steampunk
Simply come to our Volunteers Lounge during the conven on and sign up!
Adults & Teens Welcome!
Wanna prove it? Wanna disprove it?
Have you heard about nwcMUSIC's Saturday afternoon production of Cascadia's Got Talent!? Come bring your song, your new dramatic reading, your juggling act, your stupid human tricks, and perform them before our audience and team of celebrity Drunks...err, judges! If you survive the Gong, you can win one of our allegedly fabulous, by which we mean terrible, prizes! Signup forms and rules are at Information, curtain goes up 3 pm Saturday afternoon up in the Salon.
Steven Baxter, Bridget Landry, John Picacio, Sheila Gilbert & Betsy Wolheim are all scheduled for the following:
Banquet 5-7 pm in Grand 2
Opening Ceremonies, 7-8 pm Evergreen 1 & 2
Keith and Alan here from the Movie Previews, again ready to bring the latest from Hollywood straight to your eyes and ears. Our schedule for this year:
Friday – Previews Show #1
1-3pm – Grand 3
Friday - Family Movie Previews
3:30-4:30pm – OLY 1
Saturday – Masquerade half-time – Note the Halftime will not be broadcast to the Hotel – if you want to see it, you have to be there!
Sunday – Previews Show #last – 12-2pm – Evergreen 1-2
Our Friday show will be especially popular so get there early. And the SWAG this year is the Mother lode! See you there!
Adult: Tickling is necessary for proper neurological development.
Small Child: What’s neurological development?
Adult: Helping your brain grow right.
Small child: Blah blah blah.
If she has a problem, she can get a ladder and kick my ass.
is the daily newsletter of Norwescon 35. Ar cles from the membership are greatly desired. The deadline for each issue is 10 pm the night before. Submission boxes are located at Registration, the Con Office, and the Info Table, or you may email Jeeves at zine@norwescon.org. Your editrix is Katrina Marier with ad hoc assistance from the Publications Team!
Norwescon 35 Zine #0 4/5/12
Growing up for over several billion years...
Junkyard Spacecraft Workshop Pt. 1 10-11:30 AM OLY 1
Family Games ages 6-12 11—1 PM CAS 9&10
Thumbprint Picassos Noon OLY 1
Exploring The Sparklies for Pre-Schoolers 1 PM OLY 1
Bongo for Board Games! 2 PM OLY 1
Family Games ages 2-8 3 - 5 PM CAS 9&10
Family Movie Previews 3:30-4:30 PM OLY 1
Baby Lounge and Quiet Hour 4:30 PM OLY 1
Embroidery 201 7-9 PM OLY 1
Ewok Flower Vase Project 10-11:30 AM OLY 1
Family Games ages 10+ 11 - 1 PM CAS 9&10
Wand Making Workshop Noon-2:30 PM OLY 1
Junkyard Spacecraft Workshop Pt. 2 3-4:30 PM OLY 1
Baby Lounge and Quiet Hour 4:30-5:30 PM OLY 1
Children's Masquerade 6:30 PM CAS 2
Easter Egg Hunt - 4 and Under 10-10:30 AM OLY 1
Easter Egg Hunt - 5-8 10:30-11 AM OLY 1
Easter Egg Hunt - 9-12 11-11:30 AM OLY 1
Easter Carnival 1-3PM OLY 1
Maxi’s Lounge is open for Norwescon members age 21+ on Friday and Saturday night. Please note that the 14th floor of the tower is closed to people under 21 as of 8 p.m. on Friday and Saturday night.
BY Katrina marier
“What? Honey, there are hundreds, if not thousands of fast-moving satellites passing over the earth right now. Not to men on all of the orbiting garbage.”
Rosemarie shook her head. Again. “No, Dad. One of the spiders escaped her habitat. Look.” And she indicated the cage with a now-solitary orb weaver spider. “And I'm not sure how she got out.”
Her dad shrugged. “No reason to panic. One escaped arachnid is within the allowable margin of scope creep. Other insects have escaped from time to time, no harm came of it...”
“Then why...,” Rosemarie's voice trailed off as the comm overhead bleeped.
“Uh, Dr. Evans? We have a problem...” It was First Officer Mifune, part of the crew of the Challenger Space Station. “Dr. Choudhurri will meet us in Botany Bay.” Botany Bay was the nickname for Hydroponics1. Normally, he always had a quick wink and nod for Rosemarie; but today he was preoccupied.
“A problem, Tosh?” Her dad's voice grew fainter as they stepped over the threshold and moved down the hall. She'd have to pester him again over dinner. Maybe mom...no, mom was covering someone's shift and Rosemarie was in charge of dinner. Which reminded her, she had to feed the remaining orb weaver and other arachnids2 and the ant colony and check on the pupae3 larvae,4 and eggs in storage. All were destined for the bio-domes in Lunaport; and it was Rosemarie's responsibility to make certain they were healthy, if not happy, upon arrival.
As she left her workstation in Bug Heaven, Rosemarie privately thought that the ants were none the wiser about their change of venue, or at least didn't care. The spiders on the other hand...instead of the gossamer wheels that elegantly decorated bushes back home, their work here resembled three-dimensional tangles of ramen noodles.
I would want to leave them too. In disgust. She thought as she headed to her family's pod. Yes, I know spiders don't feel disgust but I sure think they know something is de nitely wrong. Gravity was not a priority on the space station. Shorts stints in zero-gravity had not proven too harmful over the course of decades of experiments. And the scientists back home haven't figured out how to create true artificial gravity yet, Rosemarie thought as she looked out a porthole to see the big blue marble below. There's Asia. I wonder if Cho's having a good time with her parents at the training camp. Rosemarie sighed. Cho and her family were also emigrating5 to the moon, but they would be arriving six months after Rosemarie.
I hope there are kids on the moon. Delete that, cool kids on the moon. Emigration's been so tight...Even with the space elevators in place to shoot astronauts up to the orbital pla orm where shuttles launched to and from to both the space station and the moon, space was still at a premium.
Rosemarie's family had spent several months aboard Challenger because her dad was an environmental engineer and had volunteered to fill in during the gap due to staff rotation. Hopefully next week they would be en route to the moon. And now there was a spider on the loose. Maybe Dad's right and one little spider isn't a problem. But what with all the weird technological problems... The corridor lights abruptly flickered and then steadied. Like that. She shrugged as reached their family pod. It's not like dinner is all that difficult to prep. Select packets and ready water. I'll be glad when we have a real kitchen again, no matter how cramped, she thought to herself as she selected the evening meal. None of the food was great; but some things just didn't translate and even their novelty couldn't make them edible. Fried chicken for instance. It never came out crispy, despite what the experts claimed. Thank goodness for squeeze bulbs of water. Ah, Szechuan noodles. Or macaroni and cheese?
While she heated water, Rosemarie considered her missing charge and tried to come up with a plan to trap it. Pesticides6 were forbidden station side; and releasing one of the shrews would create more problems and was strictly against regulations anyway.
Rosemarie tried to get her dad's attention again about the missing spider over dinner; but her dad seemed quite worried as he wolfed down his dinner and then went right back to work. Her mother too was worried, saying that now some of the computers in the med lab were malfunctioning. Minor stuff really, she said. Rosemarie began to worry. The entire station operated by computers and if they began to...her alarm must have showed because her mom gave her a quick hug.
“Don't worry sweet pea. According your father and Tosh it's just some minor fluctuations in temperature control. They're confident they'll have it under control by morning,” here she smiled, “remember, temperature critically affects my work; and so far everything seems to be fine with the medicines I'm working on,” but Rosemarie could see her mom was concerned. To keep her mind off her internal panic button, Rosemarie decided to research spider traps.
The informa on she dug up was so interesting she went to bed with her head whirling about ways to trap her eight-legged friend. Let's see, I can't use pesticides...spiders need food and water just like any other living creature...set a trap with a live insect?...no, that might escape too, water...water...and thinking that she drifted off to sleep.
And woke up with the germ of an idea. A quick search of the storage cabinets near Bug Heaven came up with packages of double-sided tape. I can put several of these around my workstation and the cage with the remaining orb weaver in it and bait them with droplets of water. The spider will need water and come to drink and she'll s ck to the paper. Carefully she broke the seal on a squeeze bulb, covered it with her thumb, and then managed to attach an eye-dropper to the open end without letting any water loose. Gently squirting a small droplet onto the sticky strip proved tricky, but she managed. She left a test strip out right near her computer console and checked it after lunch. The test droplet was still firmly attached!
She knew she couldn't lay traps for the spider throughout the sta on until she cleared it with the crew. But since no one except Dr. McIntosh or occasionally her parents ever came into Bug Heaven, it was reasonably safe to lay down sticky strips, each with its small pool of water, around the door, the ceiling, the remaining spider in his cage, around the ant colony and so on. The strips were a distinctive mauve color so Rosemarie knew people could easily see them. So she finished up, snagged her uchuu-bento7, and went toward the exercise area. To be continued....
The Kids' Masquerade allows kids who are too young to compete as Rising Stars (self made costumes by children 13 years and under) to show off their costumes. They will go on first. Kids wishing to participate must attend the 6 pm meeting on SAT in CAS 2 to full out the form. They will then walk as a group down to the Masquerade and strut their stuff!
Friday starting at 3 pm in Grand Ballroom 2
Saturday starting at 9 pm in Evergreen 3 & 4
Teens, do you come to Norwescon with your parents and spend your time wandering or in panels with a bunch of talking heads?
The Volunteers department has activities and volunteer jobs for you!
Come down and make your own dog tags, origami, and jewelry, decorate a seed pot and your own rubber duck!
Earn prizes from the dealers room, participate in daily volunteer mini-parties, and socialize with other teens. Come check us out in the Olympic Hallway, Wing 7!
Friday: opens at 10 am
Saturday: opens at 10 am
Sunday: opens at 10 am and closes at 2 pm
Friday, 3:30pm – 4:30pm In Olympic 1
Come see what cool (and family friendly) stu is coming to the movies this summer.
What is science? The intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment, according to the dictionary. Many of the everyday items you use, from your computer to the family car, came in to being through science in one way or another. Being open to the wonder of the world around you is key to science. Imagination, coupled with hard work and patience, are the hallmarks of many famous scientists. Here is a simple experiment you can do with materials on hand!
Bending Light
You will need a shoe box (any sort of small cardboard box should do), scissors, a glass filled with water, flashlight and a darkened room.
Light moves slower through water than it moves through air. When the light goes through the water, it slows down and bends. As the light re-enters the air, the beam of light speeds up again and bends back. This is called refraction.
I found these at http://www.kids-science-experiments.com/ and there were many others that looked really interesting!
Players take turns adding a single horizontal or vertical line between two unjoined adjacent dots. A player who completes the 4th side of box earns 1 point and takes another turn. Game ends when no more boxes can be made. The winner of the game is the player with the most points.
Norwescon 35, ISSUE 1.0 4/6/12
Growing up for over several billion years...
LAZER TAG! VIDEO ARCADE! QUIDDITCH! MASQUERADE! SCAVENGER HUNT! MOVIE PREVIEWS! GAMING! CRAFTS! EGG HUNTS!...WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE BORED???
By Katrina Marier
She had finished cleaning out the mouse habitat and was about to take a snack break when she heard her name broadcast over the comm system. Luckily she hadn't rehydrated1 her uchuu-bento yet, so she stuffed it back into her temporary locker. The voice had sounded like Tosh's so she headed back to Bug Heaven.
And tried not to laugh. Tosh, her mom and dad, Dr. McIntosh, and Dr. Choudhurri were all...well, they were all stuck to the strips she had left out all around her workstation. Rosemarie gave up after a heroic effort and started laughing. Quickly she went to free them...and realized that the tape she'd used had somehow been mislabeled. Instead of the mildly tacky rosin-rubber mineral oil2 the package label said the tape's adhesive was supposed to be, everyone was thoroughly stuck in place with Super Glue. Luckily no one's skin had gotten stuck to anything, only their clothing - which was easily and neatly snipped away. Rosemarie got her mother free first and then went to gather up all the strips as her mother freed the others.
As they were all brushing themselves off and firing up for a lecture, everyone witnessed a spider trailing a cloud of silk behind it float into the room and gracefully spin its way across. In such situations, rarely is one prepared with the right tool at the right time and now was no different. Rosemarie's hands were full of a bag of used sticky strips; the others desperately tried to avoid the tiny arachnid by grabbing onto whatever they could. This quickly became a wild jumble of humans. And by the time everyone had sorted themselves out, the spider had disappeared through a vent.
“Sweetie, what were you thinking, laying out Super Glue to trap a spider with?” Her mom was obviously struggling for patience. Four other pairs of eyes looked at her accusingly. Rosemarie held up the package the glue strips had been in. “I didn't know it was Super Glue, Mom. The package says its adhesive is rosin-rubber mineral oil. Standard ingredient in fly paper. Non-toxic and easy to clean up.” And she held up the package.
Here Tosh sighed and swiped his hair off his forehead. “I knew that joker streak of Commander Lee's would come back to bite us.”
Everyone looked at him. “The last sta onmaster, Commander Lee, was something of a practical joker. He switched glues on the last Chief Botanist because...well, they didn't get along.” here he paused and looked faintly embarrassed. “I thought most of the glue and tape had been collected after the incident, then checked and relabeled as needed - but I guess we missed a box.” He sighed again, “I'll go and talk with inventory.” Then the lights flickered and went out. Within the seconds, the red safety lights came on so everyone could see, if not very well. “Lieutenant Mifune, please come to the bridge,” blared the comm system. “Duty calls,” and Tosh pulled himself to the door and floated off in the direction of the bridge.
Then the regular lights flickered on again. And when Dr. Choudhurri managed to maneuver over to the vent the spider had entered and open it, a cloud of silk whirled into his face. Rosemarie and her mother had to clean him off. Of their tiny friend there was no sign.
“Well, that might explain the lights,” her father said.
“What?” asked Rosemarie.
“Lights and some of the temperature controls have been fluctuating. If that bug's...”
“Arachnid. And I thought the troubles have been happening over the past few days.”
“You are correct about the lights. But temperature control problems in the med lab got worse yesterday evening and this morning. If that arachnid's been free and trying to spin webs which keep floating free...all that spider silk's been collecting and getting stuck in some interesting places.”
Everyone turned to look at Rosemarie. “She only escaped yesterday afternoon. And I did tell you. And filed an incident report. I put down the sticky strips only in my area for the time being because I needed to clear more drastic measures with Dr. McIntosh. My original thought was that since spiders need water, I would have available water stuck to the tape. The spider would walk across the tape to get to the water and get caught. Then I could put her back in her habitat. I was going to go talk to Tosh right after cleaning the mouse habitat. Honest.”
Her parents sighed. “Do you know how she got free?”
Now Rosemarie sighed. “No. I sealed the habitat just like I seal all habitats once I am done with a particular task; and the seals were intact when I went to feed them next. It's possible she could have slipped out when I was putting their food in. If there are cameras there, I don't know about them.”
Then Tosh's voice came over the com system asking Rosemarie and her parents to come to the bridge. Rosemarie's heart sank. I am soooo much trouble. But with her parents right there, there was no way she could get out of this one. Dr. Choudhurri told Rosemarie that he would check the remaining habitats; and Rosemarie belatedly remembered he was one of the environmental engineers working with her dad in keeping atmosphere optimal throughout the station. Yeah, he'd know about leaks wouldn't he? she thought.
The Captain looked very grave as they entered the bridge. “Dr. Evans, Dr. Evans, Rosemarie,” he said, nodding at each in turn. “Intern,” here he looked directly at Rosemarie, “I understand an arachnid under your care has escaped?”
She swallowed hard. “Yes, sir. I'm not sure how.”
He looked at her gravely, “Well, our eight-legged friend has been busy spinning webs throughout this section. Several of the crew have collected no less than six balls of fluff that Dr. McIntosh assures me is compressed spider silk?”
“Yes, sir. Webs in space don't look anything like those on earth. It's the lack of gravity.”
The Captain nodded. “When did it escape?”
“She. Yesterday afternoon, around 04:00 or so. I told my father and left a message for Dr. McIntosh. I guess he's been busy with the same problems my dad has so of course I hadn't heard from him about my solution...” A button flared red over the Captain's head, and he adjusted so he could press it. “Yes?”
“Dr. Choudhurri here. All habitat seals in Bug Heaven are intact and in proper working order. The infrared alarms which should have gone off if a critter were to escape indicate they were never tripped. In short...”
“In short, we don't know how the spider got out,” here the Captain sighed and ran his hand from forehead to neck. And sighed again. “Problem is, the spider stuff is interacting with the ship's systems unpredictably. So far only the lights and a few temperature controls have been affected; but what would happen if a major system were to be affected?”
“We can't evacuate the station and vent all the air due to one little spider,” came Dr. Choudhurri's voice through the comm system. “Completely impractical. Ms. Evan's notion of trapping the spider near Bug Heaven was a good thought, if precipitously invoked. Luring a spider to sticky paper for its daily water was a good and quick solution using available materials. We'll just have to learn to live with her. And everyone should have a trap or a swatter handy should she be seen again. Ms. Evans, you know more about this creature than I do. Do you think she will come out to try and spin another web?”
“Yes, she's opera ng on instinct. And the webs need to be out in the open but not in a place where they'll get tampered with. Look for her to try it again in corners would be my best guess. Luckily there's no food flying around so she may try to make her way back to Bug Heaven, or maybe Botany Bay because that's where food will be. Or she'll die trying.”
“Duly noted. Dr. Choudhurri, let us know what procedures will be needed to deal with spider stuff as it presents itself. All personnel in Bug Heaven and Botany Bay should be briefed on how to catch spiders. Live demonstrations of the technique are strictly forbidden,” he added dryly.
More strips were put up and in about a week, the spider, dubbed Vampirella, was returned to her mate. But no one ever figured out just how she managed to escape in the first place.
This story is loosely based on an incident when one of a pair of orb weaver spiders escaped from their habitat on the International Space Sta on in 20081. Granted, that arachnid didn't cause any major havoc then; but what if she had? Most think that the term “bug” when applied to computers refers to a moth caught in a computer at the Harvard Lab in 1947!2 However, there is evidence to indicate that the term was used in the 19th cent, and maybe even by William Shake- speare!
Junkyard Spacecraft Workshop Pt. 1 10-11:30 AM OLY 1
Family Games ages 6-12 11—1 PM CAS 9&10
Thumbprint Picassos Noon OLY 1
Exploring The Sparklies for Pre-Schoolers 1 PM OLY 1
Bongo for Board Games! 2 PM OLY 1
Family Games ages 2-8 3 - 5 PM CAS 9&10
Family Movie Previews 3:30-4:30 PM OLY 1
Baby Lounge and Quiet Hour 4:30 PM OLY 1
Embroidery 201 7-9 PM OLY 1
Ewok Flower Vase Project 10-11:30 AM OLY 1
Family Games ages 10+ 11 - 1 PM CAS 9&10
Wand Making Workshop Noon-2:30 PM OLY 1
Junkyard Spacecraft Workshop Pt. 2 3-4:30 PM OLY 1
Baby Lounge and Quiet Hour 4:30-5:30 PM OLY 1
Children's Masquerade 6:30 PM CAS 2
Easter Egg Hunt - 4 and Under 10-10:30 AM OLY 1
Easter Egg Hunt - 5-8 10:30-11 AM OLY 1
Easter Egg Hunt - 9-12 11-11:30 AM OLY 1
Easter Carnival 1-3PM OLY 1
Maxi’s Lounge is open for NWC members age 21+ on Fri, sat night. the 14th floor of the tower is closed to people under 21 as of 8 p.m. on Fri and sat.
___(Noun)___ Costume Shortcuts 9 am Cascade 7
How to make ___(p. noun)___ for the ___(adjective)___ child, with or without a ___(verb)___ machine, or ___(verb)___ a lot of ___(noun)___.
How ___(adjective)___ is the Future of ___(verb)___? 9 am Evergreen 1&2
What is ___(noun)___ computing, and how will it affect ___(verb)___, ___(noun)___, and ___(noun)___? More importantly, how will it affect me?
Norse ___(noun)___, ___(noun)___, & ___(noun)___ Tactical Combat 10 am Evergreen 3&4
A hands-on ___(noun)___. Participants, equipped with wooden ___(pl. noun)___, ___(pl. noun)___, and ___(pl. noun)___ will learn and practice basic Norse ___(noun)___ combat skills in a ___(adjective)___, non-contact ___(noun)___. What is it like ___(verb)___ in the shield wall? Instructors will ___(verb)___ required equipment, to be ___(verb)___ by participants.
Fly on down to the pitch for an exciting, though grounded, tournament of Muggle Quidditch! There will be much excitement as teams try to rack up as many goals as they can before the Snitch is caught. Thrill to the game as a player or spectator in our Grand Arena (otherwise known as Grand Ballroom 3)!
Saturday starting at 9 pm in Evergreen 3 & 4
Do you know a Jedi trainee? Or a budding ninja? A fairy princess who wants to show off her wings? Bring them to the Norwescon 35 Children’s Masquerade!
The Kid’s Masquerade allows kids who are too young to compete as Rising Stars (self made costumes by children 13 years and under) to show off their costumes. The children will go on first. All kids wishing to participate must attend the 6 pm meeting on Saturday in Cascade 2 to fill out the Kid’s Masquerade form. They will then walk down as a group down and strut their stuff!
Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite treat?
Q: Why does the moon go to the bank?
Q: I work only when I’m red. What am I?
Q: Why did the astronaut bang his head against the wall?
Q: Which planet is like a circus?
The Rainbow Connection
You will need a flashlight, a piece of plain white paper, scissors, tape, and a clear glass with some water in it.
I found these at http://www.kids-science-experiments.com/ and there were many others that looked really interesting!
While wandering around the con, find people who match these squares and mark off live squares in a row using one person per square. Happy hunting!
Norwescon 35, ISSUE 1.1 4/7/12
NEWSLETTER OF THE CASCADIAN MECHA MILITIA DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION DEMONSTRATION TEAM
ALSO NORWESCON 31 | THURSDAY | 2K8.03.20 | DIFFICULTY LEVEL HIGH | DESTRUCTION LEVEL MASSIVE
After a year of planning, we are finally here. I do hope everyone has a safe and wonderful weekend. We have worked very hard all year to provide you with a great panel of Guests of Honor; if you see them wondering around the hotel, don't be afraid to say hello!
If you have any questions regarding Norwescon, please stop by the convention office, located in room 7106. If they cannot answer your question, ask them to page the chair, and I will see what I can do for you. Until then, have a great time!
Tracy Knoedler
Norwescon Chair
Dennis Bergum, Carol Duby, Wolf Lahti, David Shoemaker, Dave Williams, and Vixy & Tony are unable to attend, and will not be appearing in any panels. Irene Radford is unavailable on Sunday. Alisoun Lamb will mis Thursday, and is no longer on today's "Genre Busting." Mario Acevedo is now moderator for this panel.
Patrick Rothfuss has been added to "Forging Fiction" (4PM, Cascade 9), "Genre Busting" (5PM, Cascade 5), and "Words of Magic, Words of Science" (8PM, Cascade 4)
Sean Prather has been removed from "The Most Dangerous Game" (8PM, Olympic 1) and added to "What are the Great Sci-Fi Video Games?" (8PM, Evergreen 4)
:::I blame metric time. Also, DST.
Please note that the dealer hours listed in the pocket program book for Thursday are incorrect. The correct dealer hours are as follows:
Thursday 5PM-9PM
Friday 11AM-8PM
Saturday 10AM-6PM
Sunday 11AM-4PM
:::These are the films that never end
Back FOR the Future! The Friday Movie Preview panel in Evergreen 4 has so much info we can't squeeze it into one measly hour. So we're starting early, at 2:30PM instead of 3PM. Get your seats at this always-capacity panel early, and see the future before it arrives!
For the young, we have a special hour of children and family-friendly previews at Noon Friday in Olympic 1 (Family Track Programming). First priority seats will go to the kids, second priority for their parents, others can fill the remaining space. Come find out which film-based toys your children will be clamoring for this Christmas!
:::Frankly, your guess is as good as mine
Surprise! Several things have been moved this year! Volunteer Sign Up Table is not in the lobby; it's in Olympic 2, which is also the Volunteer Lounge. Quiet Hospitality was accidentally destroyed by the Mecha Militia and is gone. Oops. Here's a broad overview of the surviving locations:
Room Name | Function |
---|---|
NW Ballrooms | Dealers Room |
Olympic 1 | Family Programming/Special Events |
Olympic 2 | Volunteer Office |
Olympic 3 | Hospitality |
East Concourse (between Wings 6 & 7) | Artists' Alley |
7101 | Cloak Room |
7106 | Office |
Rotunda | Open Gaming & Tournaments |
Mt. Maker & Mt. Ranier | Writers' Workshops |
Evergreen Rooms & Salon | Programming/Special Events |
Cascade 1 & 2 | Green Room |
Cascade 3 | Readings |
Cascade 4-10, 13 | Programming/Special Events |
Maxi's Ballroom | Special Events |
Grand Ballroom 1 | Art Show |
Grand Ballrooms 2 & 3 | Art Auction, Dances, Masquerade, more |
:::Frankly, your guess is as good as mine
Welcome to the newsletter of the Republic of Cascadia's Mecha Milita Dance Dance Revolution Demonstration Team. Also, the daily 'zine of Norwescon 31. You're in the RoCas (that's pronounced raucous) and normally I wouldn't even think about explaining this out front, but, this time? I admit it, this year's concept may as well be from Mars.
So welcome back to Cascadia, a Republic that isn't in a world that hasn't been but probably would be kinda neat if it actually was. It's a world of global, but not super, powers, most with native or imported dragon-assisted air forces, which we proud Cascadians — citizens of the RoCas — call "the varmints." We and Japan are not quite so lucky as to have quantities of these particular assets, so, like Aesop's fox, complain about what we cannot have. But lo, we are not pushovers, for we have the Mecha Militia, who is IN UR MOUNTAINS SMASHING UR KAIJU. Along with everything else.
This weekend the Mecha Militia's Dance Dance Revolution Demonstration Team is in town! (Think our alternative version of the Blue Angels. Kinda.) An awesome sight, you might be able to see them practicing — yes, from here — at Boeing Field, and possibly across I-5, and possibly on the Museum of Flight if they don't have their act more together than they did for last year's disastrous performance in the former town of Woodinville, which, well, frankly, needed a bit of an fdisk-and-reinstall anyway.
Confused? That's okay, we are too. just think "alternate history what has dragons and mecha" and go with it.
But to get back on topic: this is also your daily convention newsletter. This is where you go for awards notices, programme changes, party lists, advance performance warnings, and anything else we get that we think might be fun. We have a digital camera so can print artwork and photos, too!
So submit thing! Funny things you overhear — in or out of context — commentary, bad poetry, whatever. Appearances aside, we didn't write this in advance — it's all live! And that's all part of the game. We need you to make it work.
The deadline of each day's issue is 10PM the evening before, or later if you find us in person, so if you need something in Friday's issue, get it into a box by 10 tonight! Submissions boxes are at Information, Registration, Office, and Hospitality. Look for us because we'll be looking for you.
is the daily newsletter of NORWESCON 31, published as a morning edition. Articles from the membership are pleaded for; the deadline for each day's edition is 10PM the previous evening, or later if you can find the editors in person. (Try the Volunteer Lounge.) Submissions boxes are marked and placed throughout the convention, most notably in the Office and at the Information Table.
Your CAG is Maj. R'ykandar (Dara) Korra'ti, CMMDDRDT. Conceptual assistance has been provided by inexplicable in-jokes, a lack of ideas that make any damn sense, and Chim-Chim.
NEWSLETTER OF THE CASCADIAN MECHA MILITIA DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION DEMONSTRATION TEAM
ALSO NORWESCON 31 | FRIDAY | 2K8.03.21 | DIFFICULTY LEVEL STUPID | DESTRUCTION LEVEL COMPREHENSIVE
:::QUAKE IN PH33R OF THE TERRIFYING FROG-MAN
You can win a membership to next year's Norwescon as one of the prizes on offer at Match Game SF, an SF&F-themed version of the classic game show Match Game. Norwescon's version begins at 9PM in Olympic 1 as contestants randomly selected from the audience will attempt to guess how our panel will respond to fill-in-the-blank questions such as "Captain Kirk has the biggest _____ in Starfleet!"
Besides a Norwescon 32 membership, other prizes include gift certificates from Cargo Cult Books and Springtime Creations (in the Norwescon Dealers Room), a prize package from Costume-Con 26, and a signed advance reading copy of Escapement, the sequel to Mainspring, by Jay Lake, who will also be one of the panelists. The first half of Match Game SF is rated PG-13 for suggestive language; panelists will be encouraged to be somewhat freer with their responses after the f/i/v/e/ /m/a/r/t/i/n/i/ "halftime" break between games three and four.
Match Game SF also needs production assistants to help keep the game moving. Come help in Olympic 1 during set-up (8PM) and you'll get a special badge available only to those who help "make the magic happen".
Make a Monster! (sandwich): 1PM, Olympic 1 (Family Track). Use your creativity to come up with the scariest, yummiest monster ever! Build your monster with a variety of ingredients and then gobble it up!
Family Movie Previews still starts at NOON (Olympic 1), but now runs only one hour.
P.K. Dick Award nominee Jon Armstrong has been added to "Preparing Your Manuscript for Submission" (NOON, Cascade 10), "Reading: Jon Armstrong" (1:30PM, Cascade 3), and "Philip K. Dick Award Ceremony and Reception" (7PM, Grand Ballroom 2).
Leslie Howle has been added to "Naomi Novik, Special GOH Interview and Q&A" (11AM, Grand Ballroom 2).
Patrick Rothfuss has been added to "The Liars' Panel: A Guaranteed Way to Sell that 1000 Page First Manuscript of Yours" (2PM, Cascade 9), "Reading: Patrick Rothfuss" (6:30PM, Cascade 3), and "Crime and Fantasy: How Do You Solve a Crime in a Magical World? (10PM, Cascade 7).
Jak Koke will not be on "Polyamory 101" (MIDNIGHT, Cascade 6).
Dennis Bergum, Carol Duby, Wolf Lahti, and David Shoemaker cannot attend and have been removed from all programme items.
:::IMPROBABLY, GIVEN THE IMPACT NOISE
"You didn't tell me I had Klingon on my face!"
"I need six left-handed clipboards, three left-handed monitors, and two left-handed flogs. Now."
"The itch will pass — you have a spork!"
"The way they remove nipples these days, it's like shaving a deli ham."
"You have to jam it in from the rear."
"There are only so many naked, slathering drunks I can carry home in one con."
:::NOTE HOW WE DON'T GO FOR THE OBVIOUS JOKES HERE. PRAISE US. PRAISE US!
The P.K. Dick Award Ceremony and Reception is tonight at 7PM in Grand Ballroom 2. Go, it'll be interesting.
::IT'S LIKE A CLOW CAR FULL OF FEN!
Registration reports 2200 members as of Thursday evening. Yes, that's as of Thursday, the slow day.
THAT'S A LOT OF ¥100 COINS!
Each year, the current Chair of Norwescon has the opportunity to award a Lifetime Membership to an individual or individuals that have contributed greatly to the Convention. Tracy Knoedler, this years convention chair, did so at the final planning meeting for Norwescon 31.
This year's honorees, working as a team, have aided Norwescon through countless hours of hard work, heavy lifting, and the willingness to go the extra mile to assure that everyone behind the scenes — as well as every person who attends the Convention — always has all the "stuff" they need. But their dedication doesn't stop there! Throughout the year, they also keep track of all those items, making sure they are kept safe, transporting them to and fro — all the while keeping a positive and upbeat attitude.
Accordingly, this year, the Chair awarded not one, but three Lifetime Memberships, with the committee in agreement that there could be no better choice of recipients. Please join us in congratulating Daniel Patowski, Eric Patowski, and Yvonne Patowski, also affectionately known as "The Norwescon Transportation Team."
:::BORED STRETCHER? BORED STRETCHER?!
Back FOR the Future! The Friday Movie Preview panel in Evergreen 4 has so much info we can't squeeze it into one hour. So we're starting early, at 2:30PM instead of 3PM. Get seats at this always-at-capacity panel early, and see the future before it arrives!
For the young, we have a special hour of children and family-friendly previews at Noon Friday in Olympic 1 (Family Track Programming). First priority seats will go to the kids, second priority for their parents, others can fill the remaining space. Come find out which film-based toys your children will be clamoring for this Christmas!
:::WORST. LIMERICK. EVAR.
Calling all late night fen!
You're done partying;
You're done dancing;
Your'e just wandering around.
Wander on down to Grand Ballroom 3 after the dance around 2 or 3AM and help pack up the equipment! It can be a whole lot of fun. No, really! Many things are funny at this hour.
:::HORTON HEARD A WHAT WHAT AND WHO NOW?
The Voodoo Message Board is located in the lobby. Here's how it works!
If you wish to receive messages from other Norwescon attendees, check the box next to your name on the Voodoo Board. (If you didn't pre-register, you'll have to add your name to the list. Make sure to add your name in alphabetical order!) When a message is left for you, a pin will be added next to your name. Remove the pin, and look for your message in the message box. Messages are put into the box in alphabetical order.
If you'd like to leave a message for someone, write it out, fold the message paper, write their name on the outside, and put the paper into the message box in alphabetical order with the other messages. Then put a pin next to their name on the Voodoo Board so the recipient knows to check the box.
:::TOO SMALL TO USE AS A TOOTHPICK, TOO LARGE TO SWALLOWED BY ACCIDENT (WE THINK)
Missing: Needlenose pliers. Last seen in a small, heavy box. If found, please return to tech as soon as possible.
Is the daily newsletter of NORWESCON 31, published as a morning edition. Articles from the membership are pleaded for; the deadline of each day's edition is 10PM the previous evening, or later if you can find the editors in person. (Try the Volunteer Lounge.) Submissions boxes are marked and placed throughout the convention, most notably in the Office and at the Information Table.
Your CAG is Maj. R'ykandar (Dara) Korra'ti, CMMDDRDT. Conceptual assistance has been provided by inexplicable in-jokes, a lack of ideas that make any damn sense, and way, way, way too much cold medication.